Season 5
by BlurredLines
Summary: This is a fanfiction of how I would've liked season 5 to be. Note: I'm a Jommy shipper, so if you were rooting for Jamie, I'm sorry! The fanfiction also tells you how Sadie, Spiederman, Karma and the others are doing, not just Jude and Tommy. Enjoy! disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star, obviously. If I would own it, this wouldn't be just a fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Season 5

Episode 1: Walking  
_It's been three months since Jude left for her big adventure in London. Jude is asleep in her fancy apartment in London. At least she was, until…_  
JUDE (London)  
**Tu du tudu dudu, tu du tudu dudu.**  
"Err… Hello?" I ask, still half asleep.  
"Jude! Oh my god, guess where I am!"  
"Well, you're definitely not sleeping in bed, like_ I was_."  
"Yeah, yeah, I know it's like two a.m. over there or something, but you need to hear this!"  
I give up the little hope I had of this being a short conversation, so I sit up in my bed and put the light on. "Okay Sadie. Tell me what's going on."  
I walk over to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I might as well get comfortable for Sadie's "big news". The last time she called me in the middle of the night was to tell me there was a big sale in town. Like I could go. So I wasn't expecting much, until she said: "Tommy is here."  
I put down my cereal. A few weeks after I left, Tommy disappeared to god knows where and nobody has seen him since then. A fact that I try not to think about because it makes me anxious. Although I left, I didn't mean to hurt him. Which of course I did. I just hope he didn't do anything stupid.  
"Tommy?" I ask, trying to keep the shakiness out of my voice.  
"Yes. And guess what? He. Made. An. Album."  
"What?" So far for doing anything _stupid_. Tommy made an album before I had finished mine here in London? How had he done that? I wasn't going to admit it to anybody, but lately writing songs hadn't been going that well. Okay, who am I kidding, the last few weeks not a single decent lyric has left my pen.  
"I know right! Remember Frozen? Well, he mixed it up and wrote some new stuff and now it's done, apparently. He just showed us all and sung something. And it was _good_."  
My cereal was getting mushy, lying in the milk. I couldn't utter a word. He had finished Frozen? Alone? Without me?  
I know I shouldn't be upset about this, but it felt like a punch to the stomach. The things I had done to get that Frozen-demo and the way he'd reacted back then. I never would have thought he still wanted to do something with it. And if he did, I thought it would have been with me.  
"Jude, are you still there?"  
I swallow. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm still here."  
"Are you okay, Jude? I mean, you never talked about him anymore. I thought you guys were over. I mean, I thought _you_ were over _him_. And you went to London, so I figured… I mean, I'm sorry Jude. I shouldn't have said anything."  
I sigh. "It's okay, Sadie. Really, I'm glad you told me."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes, Sadie." I try to sound more cheerful. "Is he still there?" I'm almost too afraid to ask.  
"Err... no, I think he left. Something about a TV-show tomorrow morning. I don't have his schedule." She sounds a bit grumpy.  
"Aaah, so you're still working your way up there? How has Darius been?"  
I hear Sadie sighing over the phone. "Still giving me more work and more dinners I have to attend for _World Instant Star_. But only business dinners,_ of course_."  
"So he still hasn't asked you out?" I say teasingly. After Kwest had started working for Nana's Basement, Sadie had opened her attack on Darius, but the fish wasn't biting.  
"He will, Jude. He will." She says confident.  
"Big D doesn't stand a chance." I smile.  
"No!" Sadie laughs. "In fact, he's calling me right now. Actually, it's more like shouting. I have to go see what he wants."  
"Okay! Nice talking to you, sis. Even though it's in the middle of the night."  
"Yeah, sorry about that. Talk to you soon, okay?"  
"Bye Sadie!"  
"Goodnight, Jude."  
I throw away my mushy cereal and put the empty bowl in the dishwasher. Then I walk over to the living room, sit on my couch and wrap a blanket around me. Suddenly I feel alone. It seems like the world of G major is spinning around and flying off and I'm left behind. It should be the other way around, right? So why isn't it? Why isn't this adventure taking off? Why isn't my dream coming true? What's missing?  
When I wake up, it feels like I haven't slept at all. Which is more or less true. After Sadie's call I stayed up thinking for hours. And after I finally realized what I needed, it was too late to make a transatlantic call. It would have to wait until tonight.  
I take a quick shower, brush my hair, take my purse and get out. When I get to my tube station I see it I've just missed one. Ah well, I rather wait five minutes for the next one than _walk_.  
When I arrive at Bermondsey Records, I take the backdoor to "my" studio. It kind of is my studio. I write and produce this album. All by myself. And I like it.  
At least, I would if I could write anything good. I'm dying to make that call but I'm not as cruel as Sadie, so I don't want to wake him up.  
By noon I have some chords and a melody, but the words still aren't coming. I decide to get something to eat. You can't write on an empty stomach or something like that. I walk over to the restaurant. Yes, there is a restaurant here. And the food is _good_. Today I feel like giving myself a treat, so I order fish and chips. Or maybe it's more like comfort food. I'm still shook up from Sadie's phone call. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. My mind just can't stop thinking about him. For the last few months I'd been forcing myself not to think about him and now not a minute passes without doing so.  
After lunch I play with some chord progressions until Nicola walks in. "How are things going, Jude?"  
"Good. It's going really well." I lie. Convincingly, I hope.  
"Really? I mean, you've been saying that for quite a while now, but we haven't heard anything. I don't mean to pressure you, but some people are getting a little impatient." She says. "Is there something wrong, Jude? Something I can help with maybe? Do you need more instruments, more musicians,…?"  
"No, no. Everything's fine." I try to smile. "It's just that I want it to be perfect before anyone hears anything, you know. I don't want to let you down. I swear, I'll have something done and finished by next week or so. It just needs a few finishing touches."  
"Finishing touches?" she asks, not really convinced.  
I nod. "Yes, just give me one more week, and then I'll have something."  
"Okay, Jude. I trust you." She wants to believe me; I can see it in her eyes. "I have to go now. I'll see you around!"  
"Bye Nicola!"  
When she closes the door I bang my head against the wall. I try to bang the lyrics out of my brain, but they're stuck in there.  
I decide I might as well call it quits for today and I sneak out.  
It's still raining, so I take the tube to my apartment. When I get there I look at my watch and start counting. After a few recounts - my math skills definitely didn't improve after high school- , I figure out how late it is at home.  
I can call him.  
**Beep. Beep. Beep.**  
"Dude!"  
"Still calling me that, Spiederman?" I laugh.  
"Damn right I am. How are things in _rainy_ London?"  
"Good! Things are going great here."  
"Yeah right, as if you would call me if everything was "great"."  
Ugh, he knows me too well. I try to explain my writing problems to him.  
"And how exactly can I help you with that? I never have problems writing. In fact, my solo career in flying *peeeeewwww* off!"  
"I know, Spied. That's why I called you: you never have a problem writing stuff. And I never had until I got here. What's wrong with me?"  
"Dude, there are a lot of things wrong with you, but –"  
"Vincent."  
"_Don't call me that_!" Spiederman says between his teeth.  
"Will you just _help me_, Spied?" I ask desperately.  
"You know I'm just messing with you, Jude. Of course I'll help you. But you have to tell me why you're struggling, though. Otherwise, there's nothing I can do."  
"I don't know why I'm struggling. It's just… I got here and the first few weeks everything went great and the words were coming out and I couldn't stop them. And then they gradually slowed to come until they didn't come at all anymore. And when I re-read the stuff I wrote those first few weeks, I don't like it anymore. It's like they're not mine."  
I feel like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It feels so good to finally admit this to someone.  
"I think I know what the problem is."  
"You do?" Hope fills my voice.  
"Yes,_ I do_. The only time when you can't write is when you don't want to know what will come out if you let the words flow. You're afraid of what you're going to write. You're shielding something from yourself. Be honest, Jude. Just write from the stomach."  
"Don't you mean from the heart?" I laugh.  
"No. Your heart follows your brain and your brain is blocking you. But that feeling in your gut, that can never lie to you. Like when you want to eat more hot chicken wings and you tell yourself you can take it and you want to eat it so badly? But then your stomach tells you: dude, stop eating, you're going to puke. You cannot _not_ feel it. You can tell yourself you're okay, but your stomach doesn't lie."  
Although Spiederman's use of words still sounds strange to me, I start to see what means.  
"You see?" Spiederman asks.  
"Yeah. I got it. I think."  
"Awesome. Spiederman: music genius at your service."  
Humble as always, but I can't help but laugh. "Thanks, Spied."  
"No problem, Jude. I'm always here for you, you know that, right?  
"Yeah." I smile. "Thanks again."  
"I got to go now, Jamie wants me to do another take..."  
"You're with Jamie? Can I speak to him?"  
"Yeah, I'll give him the phone. Bye Jude!"  
"Bye Spied. And hey, I miss jamming with you."  
"Me too, Jude. Me too."  
I hear some noises in the background and then there's my best friend: "Hi Jude."  
"Jamie." It feels so good to hear his voice. I mean, I call him once in a while, but I miss him.  
"So what's up Jude? Everything going okay over there?"  
"Yeah, sort of." I make a face but then I remember he can't see that over the phone. "It's just… Sadie called me last night. Well, actually, she called me in the middle of the night."  
"So you've heard about Tommy?"  
"Yeah."  
"Well I have to admit I'm glad I don't have to tell you. Are you doing okay?"  
"I don't know. I thought I was doing fine. I haven't thought about him for months. Well, I forced myself not to. And now I can't escape it anymore. I can't ignore it anymore. And he wrote an album and I'm not writing _anything_."  
"So you think your writing problems have something to do with Tommy not being there to help you?"  
Jamie always understands what I really want to say but don't dare to admit. He's like a mind reader, really.  
"Yeah. I'm scared, Jamie. What if I can't do it without him?"  
"Jude, that's bullshit. You wrote songs way before you met Tommy. You won Instant Star without Quincy, remember? You did that all on your own! You can write songs on your own Jude, you always have. Before Instant Star and even after! When you were on tour, Tommy wasn't there and still you wrote songs."  
"About him."  
"Well they're still songs! Doesn't matter that they were about him. You can write about anything, Jude. Don't limit yourself because of Quincy. You can do better than that. You can do it without him. I believe in you."  
I sigh. "Thanks Jamie, that's just what I needed to hear. You're still my best friend even though there's an ocean between us. You know that, right?"  
"Yeah, Jude. I know." I can almost hear him smiling.  
"So Nana's Basement is doing pretty well, I hear!"  
"Yes, Spiederman is doing a really good job. He's even better than I thought he was. Soon he'll be ready to go on tour!"  
I hear some shouting in the background.  
"Jamie, what's going on?"  
"Spiederman's saying something about a TV-show, I'll go take a look."  
After a long pause, he's back. "Jude, put on your TV. Channel 5."  
"Why? What's -"  
"It's Tommy, he's on TV. He's saying something about a song. You're going to want to hear this."  
I rush over to my TV.


	2. Chapter 2

Episode 2: Lighter than air  
Tommy (Canada)  
I'm standing nervously backstage, waiting for my cue to go on. A million thoughts race through my head: don't say anything wrong, don't say anything stupid, and don't say her name. I see Darius approaching out of the corner of my eye.  
"You doing okay, Tom?"  
I guess the nerves are showing.  
"Yeah, I'm fine." I shrug.  
"You've done this a million times, Tom. You'll do great." Darius says.  
I have done this a million times with Boyz Attack, but on my own: never. But doing this alone isn't the problem. That's not causing the nerves. It's the not knowing.  
Not knowing if she's watching. If she knows. If she's even awake. What she thinks. If she even cares.  
I almost smile when I imagine seeing her face when she hears about me making an album. And with Darius of all people. She'd kill me. But she wouldn't understand that I had no choice. Only Darius would agree to my demands.  
When I finished Frozen, I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't know what I _wanted_ to do with it. I felt empty. Until I realized what I wanted. What I've wanted all along: go to London. See her.  
And I couldn't just show up, couldn't I? Like hey Jude, haven't seen you in a while, what have you been up to? And then she'd tell me about all her amazing rockstar adventures and I would have to say I did nothing. That I wasted my time while she was making her dream come true.  
So I made a plan. I went to Darius with Frozen and let him listen. He immediately liked it, as I knew he would and I offered him a deal. I'd be his artist, but only on a few conditions. First, he couldn't change a thing about the album. Second, I wouldn't be a showpiece doing stupid shows in stupid programs in stupid outfits. And third: I would be a judge on Instant Star World and I would take Europe for my account.  
When he'd asked why, I'd decided not to lie. He'd seen it coming anyway. "I want to see how's she doing, D. I have to know. But I can't just go there. I… When I see her again, I want her to… I don't know what I want her to do. I just don't want her to be disappointed in me. Or have her think I'm lost without her. I want her to see I'm doing fine, but that I'm still here and if she wants…"  
"I get it, Tom." He had said. "And I agree to your terms. If you promise me you won't go running off to London if she takes you back. I can't afford to lose my new artist."  
He had had a tough face on, but I had known that deep, deep down there, he'd really got it.  
So here I am, about to do my first TV-show.  
"Here's Tom Quincy, ladies and gentlemen!" I take a deep breath and go on.

I'm halfway through the interview when the dreaded question comes. "So let's see this track list, Tom. I got to say I'm particularly curious about one song."  
"I know which one."  
"Yeah? You do?" The TV-host asks. "Which one?"  
"Number 13."  
He laughs. "Yes it is! 'I still love you, part II.' And do you also happen to know what I want to know about this song, Tom?"  
"You want to know what happened to part I."  
"He's not only a great artist, he's also a mind reader, apparently!" I want to hit the man in his awful grinning face. Why is every TV-host I meet so annoying?  
"So are you going to tell us?"  
I sigh. I just have to do this once. Tell this once, and then I can go with the "no comment"-answer.  
"Well, part I wasn't written by me. It was written for me. And I wanted to return the favor. When she gave me this song, I was about to leave her to do something I had to do, and I had to do it without her. She understood but she wanted to let me know that, no matter how far apart we were, she still loved me. And now I was in that position and I wanted to tell her that I understand."  
"And that you still love her?"  
I shake my head. I can't say it.  
"You don't?" he asks surprised.  
"It's not that. It's just that… I don't know. I'm not telling you." I fake a smile.  
"Oooh, Tom, you're going to leave us like that! Who is this girl? Is it your ex-girlfriend Jude? Did she write that song?"  
"Look. I know everyone thinks it's Jude. Truth is… you can think what you want. I'm not telling." I struggle to keep it together after saying her name. I don't know why I don't want to tell people it's her. Everybody already knows. The song was never on an album of hers, but the whole world knew about us, so there was really was nothing to it. But somehow, if I didn't say it, I could pretend nobody really knew. And I don't want them to know. They could hear the song and love it or hate it, I didn't care. I just needed to write it and I had to put it on my album. It wasn't complete without it. Like when Jude's album needed 'White Lines'. And there I am again, thinking about Jude. I snap out of it: this is an interview, I have to stay focused.  
"Well that's a shame, Tom! But maybe next time."  
A few boring questions about Instant Star World follow and then, finally, he says: "Give it up for Tom Quincy, ladies and gentlemen! And make sure to buy his album Frozen, in stores now!"  
I wave at the audience and get the hell out of there.  
I bump into Darius in the hallway. "What was that, man? You had your chance!"  
I roll my eyes and walk on. He wouldn't understand this.  
Why I couldn't say I still loved her.  
Because she didn't anymore.

Jamie (Canada)  
"Jude, are you still there?"  
Nothing.  
"Jude?"  
"Jamie, I have to go."  
"Okay, bye Jude!" But she already hung up.  
Spiederman and Zeppelin are still staring at the TV.  
"That's so romantic." Zeppelin whispers.  
"No, it's not." Spiederman immediately responds. "Why couldn't he just say it? He's such a moron. He should've just said it."  
"If he still loves her, I agree." I say.  
"What do you mean, if he still loves her? Of course he still does! You could see in his eyes!" Zeppelin stares dreamily into space. I hope she doesn't expect me to declare my love for her on national TV.  
"I don't know…" I begin to say but Spied and Zeppelin both give me a look that makes me shut up.  
"He does, man. He still does." Spiederman shakes his head. "But does she?"  
He looks at me like I know the answer. But I don't. "I don't know either, Spied. She never talks about him. Well, not until today and that was only because Sadie told her about his album. I think she doesn't even know if she still loves him. But I do know that she's determined to make it out there. She won't let anything distract her from her path. She's going to be huge." I smile.  
I never liked Tommy, but I was okay with them being together. Eventually.  
But then Jude went off to London and I thought they were over. Everyone did. But now, now that she couldn't escape him anymore… who knew?


	3. Chapter 3

Episode 3: Inconveniences  
Tommy (Canada)  
_It's a fantastic song and I love it. It's just not where my head's at anymore._  
**Not where my head's at anymore.**  
I wake up from the nightmare. I'm not even shocked anymore. I've been having this nightmare for months now. Only it's not a nightmare. It actually did happen.  
I sigh and get up. I can't let the nightmare distract me from my goal. I need to get to Jude. I need to see her. Even if it will hurt me. I can take it. It's not like these last few months have been fun. The only times when I felt more or less okay were in the studio. And now that Frozen is finished…  
I take a quick shower, shave and clean up. I need to look halfway decent today. I'm having my one and only show for Frozen and then I'm off to the UK for Instant Star World. I didn't want to do the show **now**, but Darius made me. And I couldn't really say no, when he was giving me all I asked for. Besides, it'll be nice to be on stage again. I miss performing.  
I put on my leather jacket and get out. My packed suitcases are standing ready at the door. I'll pick them up after the show. And then I'm gone.

Sadie (Canada)  
I'm still tired when I wake up. I didn't get much sleep after seeing Tommy's big interview. I wonder if Jude has, but she hasn't replied to any of my messages and she won't pick up her phone. When I call Jamie to see if he's got any news, he tells me she's been dead silent. No one has heard from her. I hope she's okay, but I can't keep calling her. I know Jude. She'll call me back when she's ready.  
I have to get up now, I've got things to do, making sure everything runs smoothly for Tommy's show. Tommy. I kind of feel sorry for him. That TV-host was an ass. Okay, maybe he asked the question that everyone was dying to know, but you could just see Tom was hurting.  
I hope he's better today, because he cannot mess this show up.

Spiederman (Canada)  
"Spied, get UP!" I feel the sheets being torn away. I curl up in a little ball. It's just so cold.  
"SPIED!"  
I sigh and open one eye. "Karma, I know you don't want to get up either. Come back in bed."  
"If you're not getting up **right now**, you're not getting breakfast."  
"It's not like you made it anyway." I mumble, but I get out of bed. I need my food.  
When we got kicked out of our fancy apartment set, we wanted to move to a less-fancy-but-still-cool other apartment, but apparently that wasn't so easy. I didn't really have that much money and there was no way I was going to ask my dad. And I couldn't let Karma pay it all by herself. So we moved to a non-fancy-and-not-even-cool-except-in-the-literal-sense-of-the-word apartment. There's a problem with the heating, you see: it doesn't work.  
Luckily Darius took care of our legal issues with the TV-channel. We didn't have to pay anything, but Karma was working her butt off to please him. He even made her promise she would be a judge on Instant Star World. Not that she minded though, she was dying to be a judge anyway so basically he did her a favor.  
The only little light at the end of the tunnel was my solo album. If that was going to sell really well, then we could move to a decent apartment.  
We'll see right? It's almost done, Jamie says.  
We'll see.

Sadie (Canada)  
"Sadie, can you come here for a second." I have to strain myself from rolling my eyes. Darius has been dragging me back and forth for hours now and I'm pretty sick of it.  
"What?" I say.  
He pulls up his eyebrows, but he doesn't say anything about my attitude. He knows he deserves it. "I was actually going to ask if you're free tonight, but if you don't feel like it…"  
I sigh. "No, it's okay. I'll go. Who are we meeting this time?"  
"Actually, I was thinking it would be just you and me. You know, celebrating that everything went well and that you did a great job today." He smiles.  
"But you don't know if everything **will** go right today." I can't help but point it out, even though I'm freaking out on the inside.  
Again he looks at me and I give in. "Okay, alright." I smile.  
"I'll pick you up at eight." He turns around and starts yelling at the guys setting up the stage.  
Now that he's gone I can freak out that he asked me out. I pull out my cell and call Jude. She better pick up this time. I don't care if she doesn't want to talk about Tommy, but I need her now as my sister to be excited for me about Darius.  
But of course she **doesn't** pick up.  
"Hi, this is Jude. I'm not here right now, so leave a message or call me back later." **BEEP**.  
"Damn it, Jude. Pick up your stupid phone. Darius just asked me out. Did you hear that? DARIUS JUST ASKED ME OUT. I bet you're sorry now that you didn't pick up the phone, right?" I feel a bit guilty now, so I say: "Okay, call me back. I hope you're okay. Bye, Jude."  
I hang up and just as I turn around to go see if the sound booth is working, I see Tommy standing behind me.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop. But was that Jude?" he asks.  
The way he says her name, it kills me. He can barely get it out.  
"Yes. I mean, she didn't pick up. It was her voicemail."  
He nods. "Okay."  
He starts walking away but since I feel so happy right now and I can't stand people not being happy when I am, I decide to try to cheer him up.  
"Hey Tommy, wait up." He stops in his tracks and I catch up to him.  
"What you said yesterday, on the interview?" He starts turning away but I grab his arm and spin him around. "She heard it." I say.  
I can't quite read the expression on his face but it doesn't seem like a bad one.  
"What… err...? What did she say?" He finally asks.  
"I don't know. She was on the phone with Jamie at the time and afterwards she just hung up. And as you just heard, she isn't picking up her phone."  
"Okay." The look on his face is easier to read now. He looks downright disappointed. That wasn't the plan. I'm supposed to make him feel **better**.  
"Tommy, until yesterday she refused to speak about you." He's on the edge of breaking down now, so I just keep on talking. "But I know Tom. She cares. Every time I tried to say something about you, she changed the subject because she couldn't handle it. She's so stubborn and she won't admit it to anybody, but she misses you, Tom. I know. Yesterday she was so different. She tried to keep it from me, but there was something there. She couldn't avoid you yesterday, as she has been trying all along. You're still in her heart Tommy. Even when you're not in her head."  
That last sentence stirs something inside of him. His expression changes to something better. I can't quite put my finger on it, but he seems almost happy. Hopeful maybe.  
"Thanks, Sadie. I'm... err... I'm going to get ready for the show now. Don't want to mess it up." He almost smiles.  
"You won't." I say. "You'll do great."

Jude (London)  
_Can't stay with you, but I'll miss you_

As soon as I put down the phone, the lyrics started coming.  
I've been writing for hours now and there's no stopping me. I'm not thinking. Just writing.

_Oh, it's a long road that I've created_  
_I've got it under control_

I can't believe how easy it is to write now. I don't know what got me started. One second I was listening to Tommy's interview and the next I had hung up and I was writing.  
Okay, maybe I do know what got me started. But I don't want to think about it. I just want to finish this song. I'm afraid that if I'll stop now, I won't be able to start again. So I write.

_Where's my education? What was I thinking? Been lying to myself all along_  
_And I knew I was wrong, I could tell in your eyes the love is gone._  
_And I know I can't fix what I have done_  
_So I keep walking until I'm numb_

My phone rings about every 15 minutes. Jamie. Sadie. Jamie again. Spiederman. Sadie. Sadie. Sadie. Sadie.

_But I'll do this alone, and every tear I know is mine_  
_And I will feel it in my bones, I'll be okay, just let me hide_

My phone stops ringing eventually. I didn't even bother to turn it off. I knew they'd give up in the end.

_And why am I talking? When I have nothing to say_  
_My head is a maze, and I'm not finding my way_

After a few more hours the song is done. It's in the middle of the night. I didn't notice how fast the time went by. I don't care. I've got a song.

_But I can't stay with you, but I'll miss you_  
_My soul's on fire, I can't see through_  
_All the smokey, smoking higher_  
_My feet won't bring me to you_

I decide to get some sleep so I won't look like a total zombie in front of Nicola tomorrow.

When I wake up I feel great. I still have that buzz from last night and I feel ready to take on the world.  
I'm a bit too buzzed really, because I almost forget my lyrics when I walk out of the door. That puts me back with my feet on the ground. Kind of. A bit maybe. Because I still feel like I'm floating when I get on the tube. I have this huge smile on my face and everybody looks weird at me because of it. But I don't care. I've got a song.  
I even sing it in my head: I've got a so-o-o-o-o-ong!  
I get to the studio and call Nicola so I can play my song for her.  
It's then that I realize what I have written. Right there, when I'm singing the song.  
I **have** been lying to myself. I didn't want to admit that I still love Tommy. But also, as I saw yesterday: I don't think he does anymore.  
I mean, if he still loved me, he would've said so, right? Why wouldn't he? Right?


	4. Chapter 4

Episode 4: Hunger Pains  
Jude (London)  
All around me people are talking about my song. I think I even spotted someone doing a victory dance earlier. But I'm totally zoned out. I can see it all happening but I can't hear it. I can't make a sound.  
It takes Nicola at least three finger snaps to get my attention. "Jude? Earth to Jude?"  
I snap out of it. "Yes, Nicola?"  
"Haven't you noticed? Everyone _loves_ your song! I'm telling you, it's pure gold!"  
I flashback to my time with G Major. Darius' favourite colour: platinum.  
I think I prefer gold now.  
After everyone calms down, they start talking about making this my first single here. The plan is to release a few singles while I'm working on the album, to get people enthusiastic about it so they'll buy it when it's finally released. Secretly I think they just do that because they can still back out before the album comes out. If my first single is a total failure, they can dump me before having made the costs of an album.  
But I don't think this song is going to fail. I feel it. It's deep honest. It's me. Finally.  
I let them do all the talking about how to release the single and I excuse myself saying I feel very inspired to write another song. Which I am. I totally lost my mental blockage and I'm unstoppable.  
I haven't quite decided which state of mind I prefer. Before I was blocked, but oblivious. I didn't have to think about how I felt. Now I can't do anything else but think.  
I realize my phone is still off so I turn it on. 32 missed calls. I can't say I'm surprised.  
I try Sadie first.  
"Jude! FINALLY!"  
"Yes, Sadie. I'm sorry I didn't pick up last night, I just -"  
"I know. We all saw it Jude. How are you? Are you okay?"  
"I don't know. I really don't know." And then it all comes out. I tell her everything that happened since I hung up on Jamie.  
"Jude, you don't honestly think you and Tommy are over, don't you?"  
"But we are Sadie! I messed everything up! I never should've left!"  
"Shut up, Jude. Don't say stuff like that. Maybe it wasn't the _right time_ to leave, but leaving wasn't a bad decision. Look how you're doing now! I can't wait to hear your new song!"  
I can't help but smiling. My dad used to be the person to be the most excited about my music, but I'm glad Sadie and I got closer too. I can tell she genuinely cares.  
"Well, you will, they want to make it my next single!"  
"Wow, Jude, that's great! Oh my god, I can't wait till Tommy hears it!"  
And there it is again. "Sadie, I don't want him to hear it."  
"That's ridiculous, Jude! It's a song about him, he needs to hear it! In fact, you should hear his song too."  
"You mean 'I still love you'? You don't even know if he still feels that way."  
"Stop it now, Jude. I'm serious. Snap out of it. HE. LOVES. YOU. You didn't see him yesterday, afterwards. His face! He's a mess. He thinks you don't love him anymore."  
I can't really blame him for that, I guess. He proposes and I run off to London. That doesn't really scream 'I love you', doesn't it?  
"Let me fix this for you." Sadie says. "I'll send you a copy of his CD. Right now. I'm putting it in an envelope as we speak. If you hear the song, you'll know. Trust me."  
A little spark of hope ignites inside of me.  
"Okay. Thank you, Sadie. You're a really great sister, you know that?" I smile.  
"You're welcome. Now do your duty as my sister and ask how my date with Darius went."  
"YOU HAD A DATE WITH DARIUS?" I almost scream.  
"Oh Jude the things you don't know if you put off your phone…"

Tommy (somewhere on a plane above the Atlantic Ocean)  
"Do you need a pillow, sir?"  
I shake my head and the air hostess walks away. I feel like I'm the only person on the plane that's awake, besides her and the pilot.  
I take a quick look around and I see that I'm not that far off. A little kid across the aisle is awake too. He notices me watching him and says "Can't sleep either, sir?" with a cute little British accent.  
I shake my head and answer: "What's keeping you up?"  
"My book, sir. It's very exciting!" He shows me the cover of what turns out to be the newest Harry Potter novel. I've heard about those books. They're a big hit with the kids, apparently. I don't get it though. Wizards, witches, magic. Not my kind of thing.  
"Yeah?" I ask. "What's happening right now?"  
The kid starts talking, using all sorts of made-up words and I have no clue what he's saying until he says this:  
"And then Dumbledore - the headmaster, you know - says that there is no power as great as love and that why Voldemort, - the enemy, you remember? - will lose."  
I don't know Dumbledore or Voldemort, but I start to see the point.  
"So basically, loves conquers all?" I smile.  
"Yes, sir. If you can love someone. Really, really love them, with all your heart, nothing can beat it."  
I say nothing but I keep smiling. "I really hope that's true."  
"It is, sir. I mean, if Harry can beat Voldemort, anything is possible. Don't you think?"  
We both smile and the kid gets back to his book.  
I turn around and get comfortable. After a few minutes, I'm asleep.  
Dreaming about wizards, witches, magic and love.

Sadie (Canada)  
After Jude and I get off the phone, I finally have time to get my groceries. On the way to the supermarket, I put the CD for Jude in the mail. The post better do their work now. She'll freak out if she sees Tommy before she hears the song.  
I'm walking in the aisle with the cookies, looking for that one kind that doesn't have a billion calories in it, but I don't find it. When I get up I accidentally bump into someone.  
"Oh, I'm sorry." I recognize that voice.  
Kwest.  
"It's nothing. It was my fault anyway. I should look where I go." I smile. It's so surreal to see him here. I haven't seen him in months.  
"How are you now?" he asks, smiling.  
"Good, actually. Thanks. How are you? How's working with Jamie at Nana's basement?"  
"Good, thanks." He smiles. "I probably shouldn't tell you this, because you're the "enemy" but we're about the release Spiederman's first solo album."  
"Wow, that's great!" I say. I can see the secret pride he takes in making this album. I'm happy for him. He deserves it. He deserves to shine. "I promise I won't tell Darius."  
He smiles. "No, you can tell him. He'll found out soon enough. There isn't a thing that man doesn't know." His smile fades a little. "Is err… is he treating you okay? I mean, he's not pressuring you to do too much work, isn't he? He can be like that sometimes."  
"I know." My smile fades too. "He really can be. But it'll be worth it."  
"Worth what?"  
"Well, he's giving me more important things to do know. I'm a judge for Instant Star World here, you know."  
He smiles, but I can see he doesn't really mean it. "That's great, Sadie." It's almost like his voice contains some sort of pity. I don't need him to pity me. I'll _love_ being a judge.  
"Well, I guess I'll see you around some time." I try to get away, but he stops me.  
"Take care of yourself, Sadie. Don't let him use you."  
"I won't." I turn and walk away, furious.  
The nerve! He still thinks he knows what's good for me. But he doesn't. He never got my ambition. He doesn't even have ambition!  
When I walk out the supermarket, I feel a bit guilty for thinking that. He just produced an entire album on his own, broke away from the safe option at G Major and took a chance. And I think he doesn't have ambition.  
I sigh and walk home. I'm so confused by my own thoughts.

**3 days later**  
Tommy (London)  
I've been in London for three days now and still no sign of Jude. This city is bigger than it seems on the map. And it's so confusing, I can't find my way anywhere.  
And the driving on the left, I mean, what's up with that?  
I know that's supposedly the good way, the way it was intended and that "we" did it wrong, but after all these years of driving on the right, the left feels like the wrong side.  
Luckily I can just drive between all the cars and the busy traffic with my motorbike. I'm so glad I had it brought here. I can't imagine walking everywhere. Or using the stinky tube.  
Yuk.  
When I finally arrive at the place G Major rented to hold the auditions, it starts raining. I guess I'm lucky today and I run inside for shelter.  
Seven hours of auditions today and then I'm done.  
Then I can do what I _really_ came here for: find Jude.

When the last singer leaves the room, my ears are tingling. There were a few amazing singers, but like every audition, there were even more really _really_ terrible ones.  
I decide to have dinner in an Italian restaurant. I feel like pasta today.  
I find a restaurant in ally where I can park my bike.  
Amazingly, it's still not raining, but when I'm ready to take my order, it all comes down.  
Raining cats and dogs, or what's the expression?  
I'm waiting for my food when a girl walks in.  
I can't really see her face, but I don't care. There's no girl but Jude.  
And then she turns around.  
And I should've cared about her face.  
It's the only face I know.  
Jude.  
"Tommy?"


	5. Chapter 5

Episode 5: A little bit  
Tommy (London)  
I can't believe it. I'm still in shock as she walks over.  
"Hi." She says.  
Her voice. I've missed it so much. It's almost as if the voice on her songs doesn't even compare to the real thing.  
I realize I should say something and I manage to stutter a "Hi" back.  
She comes closer and actually gives me a hug. It does feel kind of awkward and she lets go way too soon for me. But it would be too soon anyway, even if she would hold me all through the night.  
"What are the chances? I mean, I just wanted to grab a pizza and go eat it in my apartment, but now that you're here. God! This is so surreal!"

Jude (London)  
I keep on talking. Why do I keep on talking? I should stop. Stop it now, Jude.  
"Well, if you want to, you can sit with me?" he asks, his voice slightly uneven. My thoughts race: why is his voice uneven? Is he just surprised to see me? Or is there more? Is he nervous? I know I'm nervous. God, this would be so much easier if I could read his mind. Or at least heard his god damn CD already. Sadie assured me she put it in the mail about three days ago, but three days is not enough for transatlantic mail. I try to steady my breathing as I sit down.  
"So, I heard you're here for Instant Star World?" I say.

Tommy (London)  
I can't be more embarrassed than this. Instant Star World. I can't tell her why I agreed to do it. Why I _wanted_ it.  
The waiter comes and we both order a pizza. I can't even remember my order a second after I made it. I don't care, I don't think I'll be able to eat anyway.  
"Yeah." I say. "I know it's kind of lame, but Darius needed a lot of people all over the world, so... At least I got to pick my continent." I try to smile. I hope she gets this little hint that I wanted to be _here_, but looking at her face, I don't think she did.  
I can barely look at her, though. I steal quick glances when she looks away.  
It's so hard to look at her thinking that she isn't mine anymore. She hasn't been mine for so long.

Jude (London)  
He won't even look at me.  
I try to catch his eyes, but he keeps avoiding it. This is not good.  
"Yeah, London is great. Did you have any time to do some sightseeing yet?" I hope my desperate attempt at making conversation works, because if there comes a silence, I won't know how to break it.  
He finally looks up and says: "Not quite. Well actually I've only seen Buckingham Palace." He smiles. I've missed that smile.  
"Well, then I hope you saw the changing of the guards because else there isn't much to see."  
"Errr…"  
"Wait - You didn't?" We both laugh. "You should totally make some time to go sightseeing though. London is beautiful!"  
"What should I see then?"  
"Well, you should go on the London Eye. That ferris wheel thing, you know? And I love walking in Hyde Park. Oh, and you should see a musical! They're the _best_!"  
"Have you seen one?"  
"Yes, the Phantom of the Opera. It was amazing!" I smile, remembering.  
"You went to a musical all by yourself? That pretty sad, Harrison." He smiles, but there's something off about it and I can't quite put my finger on it. I used to be able to read him so well.

Tommy (London)  
Please say you went alone, please say you went by yourself, please, please, please.  
"Yes I went by myself, Mr. Quincy. That's not sad. That's what you do when everyone at work has already seen it. It's not like I've made a billion friends here on my first week. I was exploring London and I was dying to see a musical, so I did."  
I breathe out. I didn't realize I was holding it. "I don't want to see one by myself." I shrug. I try to hide how much I want to go with her.

Jude (London)  
This is it. Was this a hint?  
It can't _not_ be, right?  
I take a deep breath and jump. "You want to go sometime, you know, together?"  
"Yes. Yes." His smile is genuine now. His voice not uneven but almost overcome with joy. I'm not mistaking. I hear it.  
I can see it.  
"There's my look." I say.

Sadie (Canada)  
What the hell is up with Darius today? Seriously, the guy just pushes me in different directions all the time and my feet are killing me. I shouldn't have worn heels today. But how could I have known it was going to be _this _bad?  
When the clock hits five, I'm more than happy to finally leave G Major but I hear Darius calling.  
Stomping my hurting feet I walk over to his office and say "What?".  
"Don't give me that attitude, Sadie. It's been a hard day for everybody."  
"And mine just ended. It's five o'clock, I'm out of here." I turn around and start to walk away.  
"So you don't want to go out tonight?"  
I spin around. "Actually, no. After the way you bossed me around today, I kind of had enough of you." I'm still kind of mad, but my heart isn't in it anymore.  
And he knows it. He smiles and walks over to me. "Come on, Sadie. You know you want to."  
But that just does it. "Not today, Darius." And I walk away.  
The time that someone told me what I wanted is over. I know what I want and right now, I just want to have someone massaging my feet.  
And I just don't think Darius is the man for the job.  
When I walk past the supermarket, I go in to get some ice cream.  
Ice cream, a blanket and a romantic comedy. That's just what I need.  
I look around and see there's no one in the store, so I quickly take my shoes off.  
God, this feels good.  
I walk on the cool ground to the freezers and get my favourite ice cream, but when I turn to go to the cash register I see Kwest walking in. Just the person I want to see me walking barefoot in a supermarket.  
"Hi Sadie. How are you doing?" He smiles.  
"Not so good." I admit and wiggle my toes when I see him looking down at them.  
"Did you wear those heels all day?" He asks, pointing at the shoes, dangling from my fingers.  
I nod and make a face.  
"You shouldn't be doing that to your feet." He laughs.  
"I know, I know." But I can't help but smile too.  
"Who were you dressing up for anyway? It's just work, right?" His smile fades a little. "Who ever he is, he's not worth it."  
"How do you know?" I say defensively.  
"Because he isn't here, getting you the ice cream and he's probably not waiting in his Jaguar to drive you home."  
Darius drives a Jaguar. Subtle Kwest, really.  
"I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." I say and turn to walk away. I realize this is the second time in about one hour that I'm walking away from someone and I don't know which one I'd rather would have stayed with. Kwest gives awesome foot massage, you know.  
"The point is, Sadie, you shouldn't always have to."  
He says it so quietly that I'm not sure he actually meant for me to hear it, but when I turn around he's gone.  
I hate it when he's right.


	6. Chapter 6

Episode 6: Sarah  
Tommy (London)  
"Your look never went away, Jude."  
"But I did." She says.  
I look down. "You did what you had to do."  
"Yeah."  
I look up again. Trying to bring the conversation to a safer place, I say: "So how is the music been going here?"  
"Pretty good, pretty good." She says, but she's scratching her head and I know by the way she's trying to hide her face that she isn't telling me everything.  
But I'm not going to push it. I don't want to ruin _anything_, now that I found her.  
"I heard you made some pretty good music yourself."  
"I tried." My attempts at a smile don't work out.  
"What do you mean, you tried? You're not going to tell me you don't like your own stuff, do you?"  
I shrug. "I like it, but it's hard to judge your own work. I haven't made any music in so long." When I see her look I add "I mean, my own music, not working on somebody else's."  
"Did you miss it?"  
"Well, I never really "noticed" that I missed it, you know? One day I just found myself writing a song and then pick up a guitar and then I couldn't stop."  
An awkward silence falls, until I dare to ask: "Have you... you know, heard it?"  
"No, not yet. Sadie send me a copy but it hasn't arrived yet."

Jude (London)  
I'm so embarrassed right now. Why hasn't the CD arrived yet? This is killing me!  
"Oh, okay."  
He looks uncomfortable.  
"Well, you don't really need to hear it. It's not that good, when I think of it."  
My mouth drops.  
"I don't need to hear it?"  
"No, really. Don't bother. It's nothing compared to your work. I'd be embarrassed if you heard it."  
What is he saying? Is he for real? Doesn't he want me to hear his songs? Doesn't he want me to hear _the_ song?  
I figure it's best to have a clean break, so I just ask him: "Don't you want me to hear your song? I mean, I saw the interview. The song? I still love you? You don't want me to hear it? It is for me, right? I mean, the title, the explanation,... Why don't you want me to hear it?"  
My voice jumps up and I press my lips together. This isn't happening. This can't be happening.  
"I don't want you to hear it, Jude, because it's not good. Not even close."  
"Why? Why isn't it good?"  
"I've already told you! It's nothing compared to your stuff! Your 'I still love you'! It's my pathetic attempt at trying to show you that I love you and it's just **not good**."  
"I don't care. I want to hear it. I need to hear. God, Tommy, I deserve it. You heard all my songs, good and bad."  
He sighs and closes his eyes.  
"But if you don't like it -"  
"Let me decide that, okay?"  
He looks up and nods. "Okay."  
I smile at him, trying to reassure him. It seems to work.  
"Besides, you said you hadn't written any stuff for so long, what about 'Love to burn'?" I ask, my eyebrows raising up.  
He really smiles now. "I almost forgot about that one."  
"I didn't." I smile.

Spiederman (Canada)  
"This is it."  
"Finally." I say. The nerves are killing me. I feel Karma's hand resting reassuringly on my shoulder.  
"You did it, man." says Kwest, and we all walk into the store.  
I check the labels on the index cards: A, B, C, … and then S.  
My stomach drops. It's not there.  
"What is it, Spied?" Karma asks, immediately feeling that something is wrong.  
"It's..err.. it's not there." I manage to say.  
Jamie, Kwest and Karma look at me like I just said I don't want to eat chicken wings.  
"What do you mean?" Jamie asks.  
"It's not here." I say between my teeth.  
"That's not possible, I called the store last night, they said they'd have it."  
We're all just awkwardly standing there and I want to storm out of the store when the owner sees us. "Didn't find what you were looking for?"  
"No." Kwest jumps in, before any of us can say anything. "We were looking for a CD by Spiederman. It's supposed to come out today."  
"Well, you're looking in the wrong place then." He says, as he points to a rack next to the cash register. And there it is. My solo album. A whole rack of it!  
Karma manages to get there first, even though she's wearing the biggest heels _ever_, and grabs one. "Look Spied! It's your album! I want to be the first to buy it! Can I be the first?" She asks, and she looks at all of us with her big eyes, pleading. Jamie and Kwest look at me, because they know I wanted to be the first, but looking at Karma, I don't care. "Sure." I smile.  
She kisses me and goes to the cash register. "Hello mister store-owner. I'm Karma and I'm buying my husband's first solo album!"  
The smile on her face is unbelievable. She's almost as happy as she is when she puts out an album. The man, on the other hand, isn't that impressed and just takes her money and gives her the CD back.  
She looks at me like a puppy that just got hit, but I can't help but crack up.  
After Jamie, Kwest and I buy our copies too, we get out of the store.  
We're starting towards Nana's Basement when Karma's cell goes off. "Hello?"  
An angry voice on the other side of the line starts to say something, but it doesn't take long for Karma to interrupt him. "Tell Darius that I just bought my husband's _CD_ and he can _wait_ ten more minutes."  
The voice tries to respond but Karma turns her phone off.  
When we all look at her, she says "What?"  
"You just made Darius angry." Jamie says, pointing out the obvious.  
"So?"  
"We just thought you'd never do anything to upset Darius, that's all." Kwest tries to put it as nice as possible. What we're all thinking is this: normally Karma wouldn't do anything to get Darius angry. In fact, she'd do just about _anything_ to keep him **happy**.  
Karma, who still doesn't seem to get it, says: "But it's Spiedy's first album."  
Jamie and Kwest laugh, but I take her hand and kiss her. "Thank you." I say.  
"You're welcome." She smiles. "Now tell me which song on this, is dedicated to me." She turns over the CD to look at the track list.  
I roll my eyes. Karma is back. "Track six."  
"But that song is called 'Sarah'." She barely manages to get out.  
"Well Jennifer just didn't sound as good, babe. And couldn't quite call it Karma, don't you think?"  
She still looks a bit unsatisfied, but I spin her around so she's facing me. "Just listen to it, okay?"  
She smiles and nods. "Okay. At least it's about me."  
I roll my eyes again but I can't help but smile too.

Sadie (Canada)  
Well I thought being an Instant Star judge was going to be more fun, I can tell you that.  
How do these people who can't even hit a note get in? Aren't there any pre-auditions?  
It doesn't help either that every time a cute girl walks in Darius eyes' pop.  
After cute girl #25 sings - I mean rapes - Ghost of Mine and Darius says we should give her "the benefit of the doubt", I'm done.  
"You mean the benefit of her short skirt?" I snap.  
He give me what I call 'The Stare', but that doesn't work on me. He should know that by now.  
"What? At least Karma can sing!"  
And I get up and leave the room. God, that felt good.  
"Sadie, come back here!" Darius runs after me.  
"Why? So I can contribute something to the conversation? You're not taking any of my notes and you basically ignore me when I point out that cute girls cannot always sing."  
"Music doesn't only need to sound good, it needs to look good too. You know that."  
I roll my eyes and say: "Well, then I have nothing more to say to you. I don't want to be a judge anymore. A judge who isn't allowed to have an opinion, doesn't get much work done."  
"Sadie, I need you in there."  
"Why?"  
"Look, it's not because I don't take any of your advice, that I don't listen to it." He smiles, but it's not working on me.  
"Well then hire someone else who's advice you _will_ take and who isn't distracted by hot girls in short dresses."  
I storm out the door.  
When I'm out on the street I take a deep breath.  
"You doing, okay?"  
Kwest. Of course.  
I shake my head.  
"You want to talk about it?"  
I shake my head again.  
"Then what do you want?" He smiles.  
"Go home, take a nice hot bath and go to sleep." I sigh.  
"Hop in, I'll take you." He says, as he opens his car door.  
I smile. "Thanks."  
"My pleasure, Sadie." Out of the corner of my eyes I can see he's smiling too. I close my eyes and after a few seconds, I'm out.


	7. Chapter 7

**First of all I'd like to thank the people that are following this story and the people that wrote a review :) Thank you so much boothyberg, GrandiloquentHeartlessness, luckywynner86, missh84, pnwer, TDKenny & lovesummertime :D**

**Enjoy this chapter!**

Episode 7: As Usual

Sadie (Canada)  
"Sadie? You have to wake up now. We're at your house. Sadie?"  
I open my eyes and see Kwest's face. He's way too close.  
When he sees that I'm awake, he pulls back and holds out the door for me.  
I get out and I want to thank him, but I don't know what to say. "So..."  
"So." He smiles.  
"Thank you for the ride." I say and I should get inside but I keep standing there and he keeps standing there.  
"No problem, Sadie. Any time." He closes the door and leans against his car.  
"So, do you want to come in?" I can't believe I'm asking this.  
But he shakes his head. "I think you need some sleep, Sadie." He's still smiling.  
I can't believe this. I thought he wanted me back. I thought that was why he was doing all these nice things. But he doesn't want to come in? What does this mean?  
"Okay. Fine. Bye." I say, and I spin on my heels and walk towards my house.  
Halfway there, he manages to grab my arm and he spins me around, gently, as always.  
"Maybe some other time? I kind of have things to do for Nana's Basement."  
"Okay." I'm smiling again. Maybe he does want me back.  
"Bye, Sadie." He says, and he kisses me on my cheek.  
"Bye, Kwest."  
I'm still smiling when I fall asleep on the couch five minutes later.

Jude (London)  
Today is my day off, but I wish it wasn't. I keep walking around my apartment with Tommy's CD in my hand, the one he gave me last night.  
To play or not to play, that's the question.  
Of course I should just let it play, but somehow it's not that easy.  
Okay, he basically said last night that he still loves me, but what if he just _thinks_ he does? We didn't see each other for months, how can he know?  
How can I know?  
I take a deep breath and walk over to my CD-player. My hands are shaking.  
After a few seconds the music starts. I decide I'm going to listen to the whole CD now and just wait for number 13.  
I lie on the couch and close my eyes.

Tommy (London)  
I lie in my bed with my eyes closed. I don't want to get up. I don't need to, because there are no auditions today, so that's the upside to it all.  
Although, maybe auditions would've kept me from going crazy.  
A million thoughts run through my head, all involving Jude hearing 'I still love you'.  
Why did I do this to myself? Why didn't I just wait for Sadie's CD to arrive? At least then I wouldn't have known _exactly_ when she could listen to it.  
I wonder if she listened to it last night or if she waited till this morning. Or if she's still waiting.  
Maybe she has to work today and can't listen to it until tonight.  
I'm going insane.  
I need to get out of this bed, I need to keep myself busy.  
Maybe I'll do some sightseeing. Then I can tell Jude what I saw.  
When we talk. When she calls me to tell me what she thinks of the song.  
Oh god, I wish I could just turn off my mind.

Jude (London)  
I'm halfway through when Frozen comes on. I grab the booklet from the table to look at the lyrics.  
Well, he changed his own words and he changed mine, but there's no denying it's for the better. It's so good, I could've never written it.  
Somehow I feel so proud of him. He did it. On his own.  
Not that I ever doubted he could do it. It's just that _he actually did it_.  
I can do it too. I have to prove it now.  
The tracks keep coming and there isn't a single one that doesn't move me.  
And then comes track 13.

When the last note dies, I breathe out. I didn't realize I was holding my breath until now.  
It's nothing less than brilliant. It's better than my 'I still love you'. I can't believe I ever wondered if he still loved me. There no getting around it. He loves me. And I love him.  
I reach for paper and a pen and I get my guitar. Just like before, the words come and come and I can't stop. I don't think, I just write.

Tommy (London)  
It's 8 pm. She should've listened to it by now. Right?  
I managed to do some sightseeing today, and I actually saw the changing of the guards, but all day long I couldn't stop thinking about Jude.  
I'm pacing around my hotel room but I realize I can't keep going like this.  
I grab my cellphone and I call her.  
**BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.**  
"Hello?"  
"Jude? It's me."  
"Tommy! Shoot, I totally forgot to call you!"  
Oh, this isn't good.  
"Wait, just give me... half an hour. Can you meet me somewhere?"  
"Yeah. Where do you want to meet?"  
"On the bridge near the Big Ben?"  
"Half an hour?"  
"Yeah, see you there!"  
I take my jacket and leave my room. This is it.

Karma (Canada)  
"Karma, come here for a second." Darius calls.  
I walk over to see what he wants.  
"What you did yesterday is unacceptable. I can't have my artists coming and going whenever they want. Besides, you're an Instant Star judge, you can't be absent from the auditions."  
"But D -"  
"No excuses, Karma. This can't happen again."  
"Or what? What can you do, Darius? Dump me? Then who's going to be left? Just Milo, right? Oh, and Tommy, who'll be gone as soon as he's got Jude back."  
Darius needs to stop thinking he can make me do whatever he wants. He only has three artists and one of them is in London, one of them thinks he's_ the greatest artist ever_ and then there's me.  
So he better take care of us, instead of treating us like dirt.  
"Don't talk to me like that, okay? I swear, Karma. I can drop you from the label. And I will. There are enough pretty girls out there that can sing. You've seen so yourself at the auditions. I can have you replaced just like that."  
"Don't try that with me, Darius. You can't replace me that easily. The other girls might be pretty and they might be able to sing, but do they got what it takes? I don't think so."  
I walk out of his office.  
No bossing around Karma. No more.

Jude (London)  
I'm running. I'm supposed to meet Tommy in five minutes but it seems like I'm not even moving. Why did I have to finish that new song? It took longer than I expected and now I'm going to be too late.  
And why is this river so damn long!  
When I finally get to the bridge I stop to catch my breath. I start looking around, trying to spot Tommy, but I can't find him.  
I walk towards the middle of the bridge but still no sign of him.  
When I trying to decide which side of the bridge to go to first, I hear my name being called. "Jude!"  
I turn around and there he is.

Tommy (London)  
"Jude, why did we have to come here, what couldn't you say on the phone?"  
I would have preferred not seeing her face when she told me how crappy my music was.  
But when I look at her, she's smiling and when she's walking towards me she starts to run.  
I barely manage to open my arms before she jumps at me and I wrap my arms around her.  
"I love it." She whispers.  
"I love you." I say, and I put her down so I can look at her face.  
"I love you too." She says.  
And then we kiss.  
_Finally._


	8. Chapter 8

Episode 8: Give Me Fire

Karma (Canada)  
"Karma! Come here!" Oh-oh, the look on Darius' face isn't pretty.  
"I'm coming, Big D!" I try to sound as cheerful as possible and I hurry to catch up with him. Suddenly, I'm afraid of what he might say. Maybe I crossed a line yesterday. Maybe it was a little too much.  
"What you said yesterday was unacceptable." He finally says, when we walk into his office. Yup, definitely too much.  
"Not only was it disrespectful, it wasn't even true."  
"Okay, so maybe I went a bit too far, but I'm not the only one thinking it." I try to defend myself. "Everyone knows we need to step it up, and you bossing us around isn't helping anyone."  
"I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about the fact that you said I needed you. I don't."  
Shoot. This is going to be a disaster.  
"Plus, you said I only have you, Tommy and Milo. You forgot someone."  
Huh?  
"The most important one."  
What the hell?  
I'm about to say something when the door behind my opens and a voice says: "Me."  
"S to the H to the A to the Y, Shay." Says Darius, full on smiling now. I don't know what surprises me the most: Shay or Darius smiling.  
I try to hide my excitement, but I know some of it must be showing when I hear Darius chuckle.

_Chuckle_.

Shay sits down in the seat besides me and watches me. Actually, he's checking me out. Not that I didn't expect him to, it's just that he's making it so obvious.  
I don't mind, though.  
"You are right about one thing." Darius says, getting down to business. "We do need to step it up. And here's how we're going to do it."

Sadie (Canada)  
When I arrive at G Major it's full on chaos. Everyone is running around, yelling things and phone are ringing _everywhere_.  
I grab the first person I see and ask him what's up.  
"Shay's here."  
You have got to be kidding me.  
I walk straight to Darius' office, just as Karma walks out of it. I snap my fingers in front of her, and she comes down from her Cloud 9 to tell me she's doing a duet with Shay.  
Figures.  
Oh well, nothing's bringing my mood down today. I might not be on Cloud 9, but I'm not that far off. I slept like a baby last night, and dreamt... well nothing appropriate, but I don't mind.  
I'm about to go get some coffee when I hear Darius calling me.  
"Yes, Darius. What can I do for you?"  
He seems a bit surprised to see me smiling, but then he says: "I need you today for Instant Star. Karma can't do it, because she's working -"  
"On a duet with Shay? Yes, I know. Okay, what time do you want me there?"  
He looks downright dumbstruck now, but he recovers quickly. "Glad to see you have come to your senses. Be there at eleven."  
"Okay." I say, but when he turns to walk away, I add a bit quieter: " But _I_'ve always been sensable."  
Apparently he heard it, because he walks back, takes me by the arm and pulls me in his office.  
Before I can say anything, his lips press against mine.  
When he finally breaks away, he says: "You know those girls have nothing on you, right? Nothing."  
He walks out, but I need a minute to get my composure back.  
That was not was I was expecting.  
When I go to get my coffee, my thoughts wander off to my dream from last night. I know things got kind of... hot, but the more I think about it, the less I'm sure of who was _with me_ in the dream.  
When I woke up, I thought it was Kwest, because of what happened yesterday. But now, I realize I never saw the guy's face in my dream. It was just sort of a blur.

I careful take a sip of my hot coffee when Karma walks by, singing.

_Tonight's the night_  
_and it's only just begun_  
_All the boys and the girls that wanna fuck tonight_  
_gotta turn the naughty on_

Well okay.

Jude (London)  
This feels so unreal.  
But when I turn around, I really _can_ see Tommy there. He's sleeping with a tiny smile on his lips.  
"Stop looking at me."  
Okay, maybe he isn't sleeping.  
"Okay." I smile and I sit up, ready to get out of bed. But an arm grabs me and pulls me back.  
"I didn't say you could leave, miss Harrison."  
He's hovering over me, hands beside me so I can't "escape".  
Not that I'm even considering escaping now. Not when he's looking at me like that.  
"I wasn't planning on leaving." I tease, but I see something change in his expression and I don't even need to guess what he's thinking about.  
"I'm not leaving ever again." I say when he starts to turn away. "Promise."  
He looks back at me, and I can see he believes me. Or at least he wants to.  
His playful smile comes back and he asks: "How do I know you'll keep your promise?"  
"Just stick around, Quincy. Time will tell. I'm here to stay."  
And with that, he leans down and kisses me. Fiercely, hungrily, passionately.  
I wrap my arms around him and we get lost in each other.

Spiederman (Canada)  
I wake up hearing strange noises.  
"Karma, is that you? Where were you?"  
I'm relieved when I hear Karma answering. For a second I thought Kyle was sneaking into my bedroom. "Yes, it me." She whispers. "I was working late. Didn't you get my text?"  
"My phone died." I shrug.  
She crawls under the covers and I wrap my arms around her. "You shouldn't let Darius make you do that." I point out.  
"I don't. I mean, he didn't _make_ me work late. It's just that I got exciting news today and I wanted to start working immediately."  
As the good husband I am, I ask her: "What's the big news?"  
"I'm doing a duet with Shay!" She can barely contain her excitement.  
"S to the H to the A to the Y? Seriously?" I'm not that excited. The guy is a tool.  
"Yes, seriously." She says, obviously not happy with me being a buzz kill.  
"Well, if you're happy, than I'm happy." I say.  
It's true.  
I see her smiling, satisfied.  
"I didn't think you'd still be awake at this hour." She says.  
"I wasn't. You're just not that quiet, getting in." I laugh.  
She pulls a pretend-upset face, but she can't even fake it that long and almost immediately she's smiling again.  
"Well, now that you're awake..." She says, raising up her eyebrow.  
"Now that I'm awake, what?" I ask, pretending not to know what she means.  
"We can do... things."  
"What kind of things?" I can barely keep from laughing now, and when she looks at me, I break.  
Not impressed by my attempt at joking, she looks at me suggestively and says: "I'll show you."

**First of all I'd like to thank the people who read this, review this, follow this or just like this.**

**Second: I'm very sorry that this is a short chapter, but I'm in the middle of my exams and I need to set my priorities ;)**

**PS. Do you like Sadie better with Kwest or Darius? Not that I'll listen to you (muwhahaha), I just like to know ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Again, thank you for your patience :) My exams are done now and monday I'm starting school again. I'm going to pick a day to write every week, so hopefully I'll be able to update this story more :) Enjoy!**

Episode 9: Don't pull off my wings

Sadie (Canada)  
I wake up with arms wrapped around me.  
Darius.  
Shit. What did I _do_?  
I let Darius sleep over? What was I thinking?  
Well clearly, I _wasn't_ thinking.  
I get out of bed and walk to to kitchen. I need some coffee to get my head straight. I'm slightly hungover.  
I put some bread in the toaster as I recall last night's events.  
After work, Darius and I had dinner at some fancy restaurant. Then we went to a bar to have some drinks and to talk, but I don't really remember us doing much _talking_. Actually I don't remember us doing anything besides kissing. I can still feel his hands all over me.  
Oh god, this is bad.  
I go outside to get the newspaper as a car pulls over.  
"Good morning, Sadie." says Kwest.  
"Good morning." I reply, suddenly very aware of the fact that I'm wearing silk pyjamas, so I clutch my bathrobe a little tighter.  
"No work today?" he smiles.  
"Nope. Today's my day off." I know I need to get inside before Darius wakes up and comes out, but somehow, I can't bring myself to say goodbye just yet. "How about you?"  
"Yeah, well I've got a busy day today. Spiederman's album is selling out everywhere and we need to figure out the best things to do now. Radio shows, public appearances, gigs,... You know the drill."  
I answer his smile. "Yes, I do, all to well. Congratulations by the way. Seems like you really made it."  
"I hope so."  
For a moment we're both just standing there, awkwardly smiling at each other.  
"Actually, Sadie, -"  
"Yes?"  
"I thought maybe, you know, errr... I'm free tonight. So if you want to... errr.."  
"You're asking me out?" I smile.  
"Yes." he admits.  
"Okay."  
He looks a bit surprised, but he smiles and says: "Okay, see you tonight then. Pick you up at eight?"  
"Sure."  
I wave goodbye and get inside.  
When I get to my bedroom I see that Darius is still sleeping. I sigh, relieved. I need to tell Darius about Kwest before he finds out by himself.  
And I need to tell Kwest about Darius, before he sees him leaving my house.  
_Help?_

Karma (Canada)  
I wake up to Kyle's annoying morning habit: singing. Unfortunately the guy can't utter a single decent note, so I pull my pillow over my head in a not so successful attempt at shutting him out. Thank god Wally isn't up, so this isn't turning into a duet just yet.  
After about five minutes I give up and get up. Spiedy is still sleeping. He'd sleep through an earthquake and wake up surprised by the mess around him.  
I go to the bathroom and get changed. Don't want the guys to see me in my nightgown, might give them a heart attack.  
When I get out and go to the kitchen, Kyle is still singing. He sees me and switches songs.

_Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Kameleon_  
_You come and goooooooooooooo_  
_You come and gooooooo-ooooooo-oooohhhh_

"Stop. That. Right. Now." I say. I hate that song.  
"Come on, you know you love it." He smiles.  
"No, I don't, actually." I fake a smile. "Especially not in the _morning_ and especially not when it's sung by _you_."  
"Karma, give Kyle a break." Spiederman wraps his arms around me from behind and rests his head on my shoulder. "Just a few more months." He whispers in my ear.  
A few more months and we're out of here.  
I sigh and let it go. "Fine."  
I grab a yogurt from the fridge as the doorbell rings.  
"Not it." I say.  
"Not it." Spiederman says.  
"Not it." Kyle says.  
"Too late dude!" Spiederman gives Kyle a shove towards to door.  
"I'm looking for Spiederman." An all to familiar voice says.  
Thurman.  
"What do you want?" Spiederman says.  
"I just thought we could arrange something. I see this... _house_... isn't what you're used to? You could do better than this. And with your solo career doing so well... We could get you another show: _Spiederman and Karma: living the good life_."  
Spiederman turns to look at me. He knows how much I hate living here. If I asked, he'd do it for me. But I won't ask. Not again. It doesn't matter that I want to get out of here, another TV-show isn't worth it. I shake my head and Spiederman smiles. He turns back to Thurman and says: "Thank you, but no thank you and get out."  
No TV-show ever again.

At least that's what I thought. Not Darius, though. A few hours later I get a call from him.  
"You have to do this, Karma. G Major needs it. And if G Major needs it, you need it."  
Shit.

Jude (London)  
There's something up with Tommy.  
I should've seen this coming. It was all too good to be true.  
I got back from work and he was waiting outside of my apartment. I was so excited about this new song I wrote today, and I kept on talking and talking until I realized he wasn't really paying attention.  
Now we're both sitting on the couch in silence, because he won't tell me what's up.  
"Come on, Tommy. You have to tell me what's wrong."  
He just shakes his head. "It's nothing, really. It's just... not my day."  
When he looks and sees my face, he finally softens up a bit and puts his arm around me, carefully.  
_Carefully_.  
Tommy's not careful. When did that happen?  
I decide to let it go for now, because he obviously doesn't want to talk about it, but later, when he's sound asleep, I call Jamie.  
"Jamie? Are you there?" I whisper.  
"Jude? Yes, I'm here. Why are you whispering?" Jamie says.  
"Tommy's asleep and I need to talk to you. There's something wrong with him."  
"Should've seen that one coming. What's wrong?"  
"Well, that's the thing. I don't know and he won't tell."  
"Well then maybe nothing's wrong and you're just overreacting."  
"No, Jamie. I know Tommy, there is something wrong. I don't know, he's so... careful around me."  
"Careful? That's nothing like Quincy."  
"I know right."  
I can practically hear Jamie thinking.  
"Jude, I wish I could help you, but I can't. I'm not there so I don't see how he's acting and stuff... I don't know what's wrong either. I'm sorry."  
"That's okay." I say, but I'm a little disappointed. I know Jamie can't know everything and can't do everything, but he's always been there for me and it sucks that he can't be right here right now.  
Or that I can't be over there, I remind myself. Because it is kind of on me that we're so far apart.  
"So how's Spiederman doing?" I ask.  
"Great, actually! The album is selling out so fast, I can't believe this is happening!"  
He sounds so happy, I can't help but smile. "Wish I was there to see it happen."  
"Yeah. I miss you, Jude."  
"I miss you too, Jamie. And you need to send me a copy of Spiederman's CD."  
"You can just download it, you know." Jamie says.  
"Jamie, you know I have to have the physical copy, for-"  
"The booklet, I know."  
"You know me too well, Jamie."  
"I do, don't I?"  
We talk for a little while longer, until I can barely keep my eyes open anymore. "I have to go now. I'm practically falling asleep."  
"Okay, bye!"  
"Goodbye, Jamie."  
I put down the phone and walk back to the bedroom.  
"You could've talked a little bit quieter, you know."  
"I'm sorry." I whisper, while I crawl under the sheets.  
"It's okay." He says, and holds me closer.  
But I'm not. There is something wrong and I will find out what it is.

I don't get much sleep and when the clock hits six, I decide to get up. After half an hour, I hear Tommy calling from the bedroom.  
"Jude? Jude? Jude, where are you? Jude?"  
"I'm here, I'm here." I say, and I run to the bedroom. He sounds really panicked. "What's wrong?"  
He walks towards me, shaking.  
"I thought... I dreamt... You weren't there. You were gone. Without me."  
I cup his face in my hands, forcing him to look into my eyes. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm here. I'm not gone. I'm right here, with you."  
He takes me into his arms and it feels like he's never going to let go.  
"Tommy, are you okay?" I ask, after a few minutes.  
It seems like he's pulled himself together and he nods. "I'm okay." He says, stroking my hair. "It was just a nightmare."  
"Do you... Do you have those nightmares a lot?" I ask. "Is that what's bothering you?"  
He tries to look away, but I won't let him. "Tommy?"  
He sighs. "Yes. I've been having nightmares. But it's no big deal. I've been having nightmares for so long now, I'm used to it."  
"Clearly, you're not used to it! You should've said something, I could've helped you."  
"No, you couldn't. You can't." He says and then it all comes out. "I couldn't tell you because they're about _you_. I know I shouldn't be scared all the time that you'll go running off again and leave me, but I am. I can't help it. And I try not to think about and I push those thoughts away, but I can't escape them at night. They find me every time. I don't know how to stop them."  
I don't know what to say. He's right. I don't know how to help him. I don't know how to show him that I won't ever let him go again.  
All I can do now is hold him and tell him, over and over again, that I love him, and hope that it helps.

Sadie (Canada)  
It's five minutes till eight and I'm not even close to ready. I'm not even dressed yet. I can't seem to decide what to wear. I don't know where we're going. I mean, is it fancy, is it casual, what _is_ it?  
And then the doorbell rings.  
I put on my bathrobe and go open the door.  
Kwest is holding a single red rose and is wearing jeans and a nice shirt. "Hi."  
"Hi." I say. "Come on in, just give me a second to get dressed."  
"That's okay, I can wait." He smiles and sits on the couch.  
I decide to put on a simple blue dress and when I get down, I'm glad to see Kwest's eyes widen when he looks at me. He definitely still has feelings for me. I was stupid to ever let him go. I know who to choose now. There's no doubt in my mind. Maybe I won't even have to tell him about Darius. Okay, he already sort of knows, but there's a difference between knowing and _knowing_.  
He takes my arm and leads my outside.  
"What the hell is this?" Darius says, getting out of his Jaguar.  
Oh, _shit_.


	10. Chapter 10

Episode 10: Hurricane Girl

Jamie (Canada)  
I'm looking at all these papers on my desk, and I realize I'm lost. I can't do this alone. Hell, we can't do this alone. Nana's Basement wasn't ready for this success.  
For the last few days we got so many calls from people wanting a interview or a performance or an appearance from Spiederman on god knows what, god knows where, and we're drowning in it.  
I'm sitting here thinking what the hell we're going to do now, when I hear noise coming from outside. It sounds like shouting.  
I try to ignore it, because I need to fix this problem and I need to fix it soon.  
I'm going through our options. Try doing it ourselves? Isn't working. Quit? Never. Ask help?  
Help. That's what we need. But where am I supposed to find someone who knows how to deal with all of this? I don't really think they have many of those people at the employment agency.  
I walk around the room when I see a picture of me and Jude when we were kids, sitting in the yard and playing around. In the background I see a furious Sadie. I think we had just ruined her Barbie doll's hair because we thought she should look more punk. The memory brings a smile to my face. All the things we did to Sadie... We didn't make life easy for her.  
Sadie.  
That's it.  
Sadie could help us!  
I know she's still working at G Major, but Kwest and her seem to be getting it on lately, so maybe we can persuade her to come to the dark side. We're not some fancy record company, but we're going to make it and she knows it. She'd understand us. She'd know what to do with all of this.  
I can't wait to tell Kwest, I bet he'd happily persuade her to come work for us.  
I can barely contain my excitement when I can finally hear what's going on outside. It was shouting after all. Kwest. Darius. Sadie.  
Oh dear god.

Sadie (Canada)  
This isn't happening. This can't be happening. Everyone's just shouting at each other and we're not even listening to what the other one's saying. But maybe that's for the best; I probably don't want to hear what they've got to say to me.  
"QUIET!" I shout, desperate for everyone to shut up.  
And they do. They're both looking at me now, waiting for me to say something. I look from Darius to Kwest.  
"I'm sorry." I say to Kwest. ""I was going to tell you, but I was about to end things with Darius and I thought that maybe I didn't have to. Thay maybe you didn't have to know. I mean, of course you knew I was seeing Darius, but the way I behaved probably made you think it was over."  
He nods, still looking so, so angry.  
"I'm sorry." I say again. "I should've properly ended things and then got with you. Because that's what I want. I want to be with you."  
Just as I see Kwest softening up, Darius ruins everything. And I'm afraid it's ruined forever now.  
"Is that why you slept with me last night?"  
"What?" Kwest shouts, and I deserve it. I so deserve it. "Last night? But I asked you out this morning."  
I can't do anything but nod.  
"Was he still in the house when I asked you out?"  
I can't say a thing. I just look at him and I feel tears coming. Just when I finally got things right, I screwed up. Again. Why do I keep doing this?  
"Yes, I was." Darius answers for me and Kwest just looks so disappointed, I can't handle it.  
He turns around and gets inside of Jamie's house. I try to run after him but my feet won't let me.  
For a while I'm just standing there until I realize Darius is still there too.  
I turn to look at him, but I don't really care what he has to say. Nothing can make me feel worse than I feel right now.  
"You're fired."  
Ha. I was wrong.  
I rush inside and grab the phone. "Jude? Please call me back, Jude. I need you. I messed up. I more than messed up. I ruined everything."

Karma (Canada)  
"KARMA! HERE! NOW!"  
I don't know who pissed off Darius, but he's behaving like dictator. I mean more so than usual.  
"That TV show. You're doing it. No negotiating."  
I start to say that there's no way I'm making Spiedy do this, but he won't let me.  
"If you don't do this, I'm dropping you from the label. For real."  
I bite my lip. I can't lose my record deal. But I can't lose Spiederman either.  
Darius waves me with the back of his hand, urging me to leave his office, so I leave.  
But I need to fix this. I can't do another TV show. I mean, to save my career, I'd do it, but if that means losing Spiedy, I won't.  
But maybe I can persuade him. It's not that bad, isn't it? It's just for a few months and then we can stop and we'll have more money and he'll be more famous and there really isn't a downside to it, right?  
Right?  
I sigh.  
Who am I kidding? There is a downside. Just one, but it's a big one.  
Making your life a TV show, ruins everything. You literally live a scripted life and you can't do anything that isn't caught on camera. It takes away your freedom. It makes you behave differently. And honestly, it drives me insane.  
I hurry into the restroom, check if there's anyone inside and then lock the door.  
I take out my cell and call Spiederman. He has to help me through this, I can't do this alone.  
When he picks up, I immediately start talking.  
When I'm done, it stays quiet for a while, until I ask: "Spied?"  
"Yeah, I'm still here. I'm just... thinking."  
"What are you thinking? Talk to me please, I don't know what to do."  
I hear him sigh, but then he says: "I'll do it."  
"What?"  
"I said I'll do it. For you. I don't want you to lose your job, so I'll do it."  
"But I didn't ask you to."  
He almost laughs. "You didn't have to. You want this, right? It's okay. I'll do it for you."  
"But you don't have to. I know how much you hate Thurman. I won't make you do this."  
"Karma, I said I'll do it. I have to go now. See you at home?"  
"Okay." I say in a quiet voice.  
But it's not okay.  
I stay in the restrooms for a while, thinking.  
And then I've got it. I've got the solution.

Jude (London)  
I've got a plan. I don't know if it will help, but it's my best shot.  
I have been thinking about re-recording one of my old songs and giving a little twist to it, for the new fans. I couldn't quite decide on which song, but now it all fell into place.  
I'm sitting on the couch when Tommy comes home. He comes over to give me a kiss when my phone buzzes. I look and see it's Sadie, but I can't answer right now, so I decline the call.  
"I need to ask you something." I blurt out, before I can think about it even more.  
"Yeah?" he asks, sitting down next to me.  
"You know I've been producing this album by myself, right?"  
He nods.  
"Well, I'm going to continue to do so, but there is one song I might need some help with."  
A smile starts to form in the corners of his mouth. "And who do you want to help you?"  
I poke him and smile. "I was just thinking that maybe you would want to. It's an old song of mine and I want to re-record it, with a little twist to it. But because it is an old song, I might need my old producer there."  
He smiles, but he doesn't say anything.  
"Well?" I urge him.  
"Of course I will." He kisses me. "Can I ask what song you're re-recording?"  
"I'll show you."  
I grab my guitar, clear my throat, and begin:

_I'm the smoke from your fire_  
_I'm that lie you can trust_  
_I'm the chord on your guitar_  
_I'm that girl you can't shut up_  
_I'm that blood you might need_  
_In your car when you speed_  
_In that cigarette you breathe_  
_You can't get rid of me_

He stays quiet for a while and then nods. "I like the little twist to it."  
"I was hoping you would." I say. "Do you still remember when I first sung that to you?"  
He nods, again.  
"Do you believe it? I mean, do you believe me when I sing it?"  
"What do you mean?" he says.  
"I mean that -" I say, putting my guitar aside and closing in on him. "That you can't get rid of me."  
"Well it's good that I don't want to, then."  
He smiles and I can feel the weight being lifted from my shoulders. I think he might finally start believing again.  
In me. In himself. In us.


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm so sorry that I has been this long since I wrote and I'm even more sorry that this isn't a long chapter. I have my reasons, though (birthday, being sick, getting better, being sick again). But I'll try to write more soon and make up for it :) Enjoy!**

Episode 11: Voodoo

2 days later

Jamie (Canada)

Awkward doesn't even begin to describe this. Kwest is sitting at my right, Sadie on my left and Spiederman and Karma are in front of me.  
In the end, I talked Kwest into hiring Sadie, but he hasn't said a word to her ever since. Sadie, happy to take the job, is trying everything to get his attention and forgiveness.  
Yesterday, Karma showed up, saying she quit G Major and wanted a record deal with Nana's Basement. I don't know who looked more surprised: me or Spiederman. Apparently she decided that her marriage was more important than a TV show and a duet with Shay. The look on her face when she saw that the recording studio was in an actual basement was priceless, though.  
So now we're all sitting here. Karma's talking to Kwest about her music, Spiederman is trying to make Sadie more comfortable with awkward jokes and I'm sitting here watching it all.  
From the outside it seems like a normal meeting, but everyone can feel the tension in the room.  
I wish Zeppelin was here, but she helping putting up posters for Spiederman's first gig.  
Thanks to Sadie, all that stuff is now taking care of. Even I didn't know she was _that_ good. Darius lost big this week: his best assistant and one of his artists. Ouch.  
I didn't expect Karma to be this happy, but she seems thrilled to be working with Kwest again.  
I'm getting lost in my thoughts when suddenly an awkward silence falls. Apparently everyone's done talking at the same time.  
I clear my throat and decide it's time to do something about this tension.  
"Kwest, can I talk to you for a second? In private?"  
He nods and we go upstairs.  
"You've got to do something about this man. You have to accept that Sadie is working here. You agreed to her working her, remember?"  
"It's not because I agree that I have to like it." He says stubbornly.  
"Yeah. I know. She hurt you. I get that." I say. "But at some point, you're going to have to see past that. She's been working her butt of for the last two days now and she's done more than we could've hoped for. She's amazing at what she does and we need her. And I can't be the person stuck in between you anymore. I don't want to have to go back and forth between you two, instead of having a conversation with the two of you together. Give her a chance to show you that she's worth it."  
I leave Kwest standing there and I go outside. The last two nights Sadie has been working late and every time I told her to go home, she broke down. She keeps her act together the entire day, but at night she breaks down. It's hard on her that Jude's not here, so I guess she chose me as her replacement to talk to. Not that I don't want to, but I'm kind of getting sick of it. I'm not a shrink. These two should be together. Everyone knows it.

Sadie  
Spiederman's jokes aren't helping. I never thought he was funny and I'm not starting to now. After what has to be the lamest joke in the history of Spiederman jokes, I tell him I've had enough. Just when the conversation between Kwest and Karma stops too. I try to look at Kwest out of the corners of my eyes, but Jamie is blocking the view. Jamie's been amazing these last couple of days.  
Jude, not so much.  
She rarely picks up her phone and when she does, the conversation doesn't even last a minute. I guess she doesn't need me anymore now that she has Tommy back. Figures.  
Then Jamie takes Kwest outside and my stomach drops. Karma and Spiederman are looking at me, because we all know what this is about.  
I sigh and close my eyes.  
I'm so tired. I know I've been working too much, but I just want to keep myself busy so I don't have to think.  
I open my eyes again and stare at the table until Spiederman says: "He'll come back to you, you know."  
"Excuse me?"  
"Kwest. He'll come back to you. You belong together."  
I've never seen Spiederman this serious, it almost makes me laugh.  
But then Karma chimes in: "Sadie, listen to Spiedy. Trust me, Kwest will come to you. Just be patient."  
I sigh. Being patient isn't really my forte, but I'll try. I have to try.  
And I hope these two are right, because I don't know what to do if Kwest doesn't forgive me.

Jude (London)  
I never thought one song would fix it all, and I didn't. But we're better now. Tommy lost that crazy look in his eyes, and the nightmares are gone too. Sometimes he still stares into space, but when I grab his hand, he always comes back to me.  
The bad news though, is that his job as Instant Star judge is almost over. Well, at least the part where he resides in Europe is almost over. And it sucks.  
He only has one week left. A week full of work. The last three people in the running for Instant Star Europe are chosen and now they have to compete in the big finale.  
I only see him early in the morning and late at night, but I guess we just have to deal with this.  
I'm flipping through the channels on TV, when Tommy walks in. "Darius fired Sadie and Karma's left G Major."  
"WHAT?"  
"Yeah, that's what I said. Apparently, Sadie was going out with Kwest when she just slept with Darius, so he fired her. And he tried to make Karma do another TV show, and instead of being her usual media loving self, she walked out on him!"  
Tommy sits down next to me. "She even deliberately missed out on a duet with Shay."  
"Shay?" I ask. God, this is getting more and more messed up.  
"Yeah. Darius is pulling out the big guns, because G Major isn't doing that well anymore. As soon as I get back, I have to go on tour."  
I bite my lip. I wasn't expecting that. I wasn't expecting _any_ of it.  
"I thought you said you made Darius promise you didn't have to tour."  
"Yeah, I did. But the deal is of the table. It's touring or losing my job. And I don't care everyone's running over to Nana's Basement now, I'm not working for Andrews."  
That almost makes me laugh.  
"He's not that bad, you know that. But you're right, you and him working together wouldn't go so well."  
He pulls me to his shoulder and kisses my head. "I don't know what to do."  
"I don't think you have a choice, really." I say, disappointed.  
"I don't think I do either."  
We stay quiet for a while, until he says: "What about you? How's your album going? Planning a tour yet?"  
I smile. "The album's almost done, but they're not planning a tour yet. They want to see if the albums sells or not, I guess."  
"There's no doubt in my mind that it will."  
I crawl onto his lap and put my arms around him. "Maybe... One day... We could tour _together_..."  
"Together?"  
I nod, smiling. "Then we would never have to miss each other again."  
And I shouldn't have said that. Because now the look is back.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi there! I'm so sorry I haven't kept my promise of writing more often, but I just keep getting sick :( stupid immune system! Enjoy!**

Episode 12: Look at those eyes

Sadie (Canada)  
I walk into the basement. I'm the first one here today. I decide to go to the kitchen to make some coffee. It's a bit weird to walk around here and call this my workplace. It's even weirder to make coffee in an actual kitchen instead of in a coffee corner. But that's just how things are at Nana's Basement. And I kind of like it.  
For the first time since everything happened, I feel at ease. I guess I just ran out of tears to cry and now I'm done. I'm done with being miserable. That's not going to give me Kwest back.  
And right that second, he walks in.  
"Errr... Hi Sadie."  
He's actually talking to me? "Hello." I stumble, surprised.  
"Didn't think anyone would be here so soon." He says. What does that mean? Is he saying that he doesn't want me here, that he wanted to be alone?  
"Yeah, well, I have a lot of work to do today, so... I figured I'd better start early."  
He nods, looks like he's about to say something and then changes his mind.  
"Do you want some coffee too?" I ask, desperate for this conversation to keep going. It took so long to get him to talk to me, I'm not going to let him go now.  
"Yes, please. Thank you."  
"No milk, one spoon of sugar?" I ask.  
"You remember."  
I nod.  
And it's not uncomfortable anymore. It feels... okay.  
We sit on opposite side of the kitchen table, silently sipping our coffee, until Kwest says: "You know, you've been really helpful these last days. You're doing a good job with Spiederman."  
"Thank you. The same goes for you. You really have done something amazing with his music."  
"It was all there, already. I just helped bring it out."  
"Always so modest." I smile.  
And he smiles back, carefully.

Jude (London)  
It's in the middle of the night and I'm wide awake. Tommy's sleeping next to me. He seems peaceful.  
The exact opposite of how I'm feeling.  
I walk to the kitchen and get a bowl of cereal. I stand in front of the window, looking out at the city.  
I don't know what to do. I'm totally lost. I don't know how to fix this with Tommy. I don't know how to make him trust me again. And I don't know if I can keep going if he won't. I don't know if I can go on without him, but I don't know if I can live with this.  
It's not good.  
A relationship where the other person looks at you like he might lose you, every time... That can't last. He needs to trust me. I really, really won't go. I'm his. He's mine.  
Why won't he accept it?  
Why won't he believe it?  
What do I have to do to make him believe?  
I do what I always do when I don't know what to do.  
I write a song.

_Oh my look at those eyes_  
_Look at the trouble that they hide inside_  
_I see the flicker of the pain on the rise_  
_Oh my look at those eyes_

_Maybe they're like mine_  
_Things I wish I did not see_  
_I push away all the dirt and debris_  
_But what'll be left of me_

_No, tell me it's not so_  
_That people will come and they'll go_  
_We push away all the love that we know_  
_No, tell me it's not so_

_Like in the eye of a storm_  
_You're changing form_  
_You feel the pull of the time ticking by_  
_Oh my look at these times_

_But look at who's right beside you_  
_When you're alone barely holding on_  
_You leave your worries behind you_  
_You're not alone in the dark_  
_But look at who's right beside you_  
_You're looking back thinking oh my God_  
_That somebody's never left you_  
_You're not alone in the dark_  
_You're not alone in the dark_

After that I try to get some sleep, but it won't work. I toss and turn until it's 6 am and time for Tommy to wake up. We get dressed and ready in silence. I guess we both don't know what to say. And it's stupid, really. We only have a few days left together and then we won't see each other for god knows how long. So when he's about to leave, I stop him. I turn him to me and pull him close. And then we kiss. I put everything in that kiss. He seems surprised at first, but then he gives in, catches up. After a while we come up for air. We're both breathing heavily.  
"What was that for?" He smiles.  
"I just..." I shrug, not wanting to tell the truth. "Just have a good day at work."  
He smiles widens. "I love you."  
"I love you too."

3 days later  
Spiederman (Canada)  
I'm nervous. I'm backstage, waiting for my first solo gig to start. I can actually hear people screaming outside. This is insane. I try to act cool, though, as always.  
But Karma sees right through me.  
"Relax, Spiedy." She puts a hand on my shoulder. "You can do this."  
I nod, but I don't say anything. I'm afraid I might puke.  
Sadie walks in. "It's time."  
I follow her to the stage. Karma is holding my hand, squeezing it once in a while. Right before I'm about to go on, she stops and kisses me. "Be great." She smiles.  
And I smile back. She's right, I can do this. I'm Vincent Spiederman. I can do anything!  
I squeeze her hand and wink. "Here we go!"  
I step on stage and everyone starts screaming. I grab my guitar and go stand in front of the microphone. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sadie standing behind Kwest. He smiles at her before he gives me a sign that I'm good to go. Those two... I can barely keep from rolling my eyes.  
A last look at Karma, standing where the audience can't see her.  
And then I start to play.

Sadie  
I dressed up today. And it seems like it's working.  
Kwest stopped ignoring me after our conversation in the kitchen. Slowly, we began to talk to each other again. Even if he doesn't want me anymore, maybe we can still be friends.  
Who am I kidding, I don't want to be friends.  
The question is what he wants. It all depends on him.  
The gig was a huge success, so afterwards we throw a little afterparty backstage.  
At one point, they start playing "Deeper" and everybody finds themselves a dancing partner. I look around to see if Kwest already has someone to dance with, but I can't find him. I search every corner of the room with my eyes, but it seems like he's gone.  
Then I feel a hand on my shoulder.  
"Would you like to dance, Sadie?"  
There he is.  
I nod and take his hand.  
At the end of the song I feel him kiss the top of my head. At least that's what I think it is. I'm afraid I'm wrong, so I don't really react to it. I just pull him a little closer, carefully. He doesn't resist.  
Maybe this will all work out after all.


	13. Chapter 13

**I know it's been way too long since I've updated, but anyway, here is THE BIG ONE. Literally. It's long and big things happen and I hope you like it :)**

Episode 13: Crawl

Sadie (Canada)  
So although the last few days have been wonderful, I still feel like Kwest isn't letting me in completely. And I get that. I understand. It feels like he's waiting for something, and I finally figured out what it is. I should've known all along. He's waiting for a "Big Romantic Gesture". And he's going to get one. I'm not letting Kwest go, ever again. We belong together. Everyone knows it. And so should he.  
I walk into the basement, where Karma and Spiederman are talking. "I need your help."  
"I don't know -" Karma tries.  
"Yeah, Sadie, we're kind of busy." Spiederman adds.  
"Okay, let me rephrase that for you: help me. Now."  
"Why?" Karma raises an eyebrow.  
"I want to do something special for Kwest tonight. You know, a Big Romantic Gesture. To win him over, completely. And I can't do it alone." I sigh.  
Karma and Spied look at eachother. "Okay." They say in unison.  
"Let's go then! Follow me!"  
I ignore the pained look on Spiederman's face.  
"This is for the greater good." I say, as I give him a music sheet.  
We walk into the kitchen and I yell for Jamie to come down, so he can help too. We hear strange noises coming from upstairs, and after a few minutes Jamie comes down with bed-hair and his shirt buttoned up wrong. "What's the problem?" He asks.  
"I need help." I say. "Zeppelin, you can come down now, I need you too."  
"How did you know?" Jamie asks, surprised.  
"Sex hair." I say, pointing out the obvious. I hear Spied and Karma snickering behind me.  
"Stop laughing, you two, and get started. We need to pull this off and we've only got three hours left!"  
"Yes, captain Harrison." Spiederman says and Karma cracks up again. Ugh, those two.  
"If you open your mouth one more time, just to make a comment like that, I'm getting ducktape."  
"She's not kidding." Jamie adds. "She did that to me and Jude once. Not something you want to experience, especially when you have to rip it off."  
That shuts Spiederman up. "Let's go people! 2 hours and 58 minutes left!"

Jude (London)  
"Jude! You've got to see this! Come on!" Nicola grabs my arm and I have no choice but to follow. She pulls me to a conference room, where a tv is playing.  
A tv that's playing my video of "Walking". I cover my mouth with my hand, totally shocked.  
"It's number one!" Nicola adds . As if the fact that they're even playing my song isn't enough!  
"I - I didn't even know it was out yet." I stumble.  
I get a few surprised looks thrown my way, and Nicola looks at me like I just said I've never heard of guitar chords.  
"We told you last week, Jude. When we put it out there."  
Last week. Right. When I did nothing but worry about Tommy. Figures.  
I can't believe I missed this though. Shoot.  
"This changes everything, Jude. We're going to move your album realease date up and we need to start planning your tour. You're going to be BIG." And she makes a big hand gesture to emphasize her statement.  
I can't believe this. This is too good to be true. I'm so happy! I start jumping up and down, holding hands with Nicola, who looks a little confused but eventually joins in.  
"You're already so excited and all the good news isn't even over yet!" She smiles. "The thing is, you need an opening act. And we want you to have your say in it. Afterall, you'll be touring with them for quite a while, so it's only fair. Consider this our gift for doing so well, so fast. Thank you."  
"Thank _you_!" I say, as I hug her.  
"We'll see which act we're going to choose tomorrow, you can go home for the day."  
"Actually, I already know someone who I would like as an opening act... You might or might not have heard of him yet, but his first solo album is doing great, and I already know the guy is amazing."  
"Who are you talking about, Jude?" Nicola asks surprised.  
"Vincent Spiederman."  
"And you think he'll say yes?"  
"I hope so!" I smile. Just need to call Jamie now, to see if he's up for it.  
And I can't wait to tell Tommy.

Tommy(London)  
"I don't know what the hell is going on anymore." I say, as I close the door.  
"What's wrong?" Jude asks immediately, a worried look in her eyes.  
"I got to work, to sign the contracts for the winner of Instant Star Europe, and no one was there! I don't understand. I have to call Darius, straighten this out."  
Jude rests her head on my chest, when I sit down next to her on the couch and take out my cell.  
"Hey D, what's going on?"  
"We need to talk, Tommy. I have to tell you this face to face. Come back home. I booked you a flight for tomorrow."  
I almost drop my phone. What the hell is he talking about? "D, I can't go now, the contracts haven't been signed yet."  
"I know that. That's what I need to talk to you about."  
I'm too dumbstruck to say anything, so Darius starts talking again. "I expect you to be on that flight, Tom. I don't care if you have unfinished business with Jude or anything else, you have to be on that plane. I gave you everything you asked, remember that. You just have to do this for me."  
I try to say that whatever it is that he wants to tell me, he can do it here and now, on the phone, but he won't let me talk. "This is not up for negotiation, Tom. Get on the damn plane!"  
Then the beep sound goes. He hung up on me.  
I sigh. I can't believe this. Not now. Not yet.  
I _have_ unfinished business here, with Jude. It's not right yet. Not entirely.  
Jude looks at me, and I know I have to tell her. These are our lasts hours together. We've got to make them count.

Jude (London)  
Shoot. I didn't see that one coming. I was so ready to deliver my good news and then Tommy drops the bomb just like that. Or rather, Darius did.  
I don't like it. Tommy and I haven't worked things out yet. We're not where we're supposed to be yet. We need more time.  
I need to do something, before he leaves. I need to make him see that I'll be there for him, no matter where I am and no matter where he is. Across oceans and land, I'm there.  
I just don't know how to make him see that.  
I decide to call Jamie. I needed to do that anyway, for my tour, but now I just need to talk to him.  
"Jamie! Hi! How are you?"  
"Hi Jude! I'm great. Well, kind of, your sister going a little crazy right now."  
"Sadie? Why?"  
"She has this idea planned to win Kwest over, once and for all."  
I smile. "Well, that kind of what I need too. For Tommy. But I don't have a plan, and I'm not good at making one either."  
"So little miss Harrison needs my help?" He says smiling.  
"Yeah. Once again. But I have good news too. Well, it's not really news, it's more like a question."  
"Well then, ask me the question."  
"I want Spiederman to be the opening act for my tour."  
It stays quiet for a while.  
"Are you serious?" He asks, eventually.  
"Of course I am, Jamie! There's no one I'd rather go on tour with."  
"I have to discuss it with him first, but I don't think that's going to be a problem." He laughs. "Wow, Jude. This is awesome."  
"I know." I say, laughing too.  
"Okay, but we'll discuss the details later on, back to your problem now. You really don't have any idea how you're going to win him over?"  
"None at all." I sigh. "I just want him to know that this is forever. That this time, I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to. We belong together."  
"Well, Jude. Do you remember that time, before you left, when that crazy fan locked you up and I saved you?"  
"Yeah, I do..." I say. I don't know where this is going.  
"Afterwards, Tommy came to thank me."  
I never knew that. Tommy actually going up to Jamie and thanking him. Wow.  
"And I asked him how things between you two, how they were going to be different this time. How he was going to show me that it was for real. Do you remember what he did then?"  
"How could I forget?" I say.  
"I'm not saying that you should do the same. But maybe this will help you to come up with an idea."  
"Yeah. Yes, it did. Thank you, Jamie."  
"Always, Jude."  
"You're the best, you know that, right?"  
"Yeah, I do, actually." He laughs. "Bye Jude."  
"Goodbye Jamie."

It's 7pm, and I'm waiting for Tommy to get out of the bathroom. I swear his hair takes longer than mine. I'm re-adjusting my dress when Tommy finally walks out.  
"Well, well, miss Harrison. You look beautiful tonight."  
"Thank you, mister Quincy. You're not so bad yourself." I say, and I reach for his hair to ruffle in it, but he immediately catches my hand. He leans in closer and whispers: "Not the hair, babe. Not the hair."  
I roll my eyes. "Come on. We've got to go. I have reservations."  
I take him to the pizzarestaurant we met in, just a few weeks ago. Tommy's eyes widen when he sees that we're all alone.  
"You made a reservation for the entire restaurant?" He says, grinning at me.  
"Yeah, well I haven't got the chance to tell you yet, but my single 'Walking' is number one, and my record label suggested that I'd book the whole place so we'd have peace and quiet."  
He smiles approvingly and pulls back my chair so I can sit down.  
"Such a gentleman." I sigh.  
"Always." He winks.  
I start telling him about my album release date moving up and the tour. I can see it's getting to him, especially since he has to leave now. Who knows when we're going to see eachother again. I try not to worry about that and go on with my story. I need to get this all out before I make it all okay again. At least I hope this will make it all okay. It has too. If this doesn't work, I'm screwed.  
"I know that this is going to be hard on us. Especially since you don't even know what's going on with G Major, but I have something that can help ease the pain."  
I slip my hand in my jacket and close my fingers around the little box.  
"When I left you to go here, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I don't regret leaving, but I regret how I left things with you. I should've never let you go." I say.  
I can see him swallowing, trying to keep it together, trying to play it cool.  
"But this time it's going to be different. I'm not letting you go ever again."  
I take out the box and open it. Tommy's mouth falls open.  
"I hope it fits." I say, as I take the ring out. I'm getting nervous. "There's a little inscription on the inside. It says "White lines will bring me home." I know it always was one of your favourite songs, so... And it fits. It says that I'll always come home to you. Because you are my home, Tommy. You."  
I swallow.  
"Jude. What is this?"  
"Tommy, will you marry me?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi everyone! I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated and I'm even more sorry to announce that this is my second to last chapter :/ I just don't have enough time to write with uni and stuff, so I'm sorry :( I might, one day, continue the story, but then I'm going to write a lot first, before putting it up here :)**

**I hope you enjoy this one! :)**

Episode 14: What You Need

Jude (London)  
"Jude, what are you doing?"  
And suddenly I'm terrified. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea afterall. Maybe I screwed it up a final time and is this it. The end.  
It can't be.  
I finally manage to look up at him, and I'm surprised when he's smiling. He takes the ring out of my hand and studies it for a while. I'm just beginning to get anxious again, when he smiles, gets up and offers his hand to me. I stand up and then he says: "I thought this was my job, Harrison."  
And then he kisses me. Like he used to. Before all this happened. Before I moved to London, before I left him, before I broke his heart, before I tried to mend it but couldn't. It seems like I finally did.  
"So that's a yes then?" I ask.  
He rolls his eyes and whispers in my ear. "Yes."

Sadie (Canada)

"Okay, I'm ready." Spiederman says.  
"Me too." Karma adds.  
"We too." Jamie and Zeppelin say in unison.  
"Okay, thank you Jamie and Zeppelin. You can go now." And I shoo them out of the house.  
"May I remind you that this is _my_ house?" Jamie tries, but I ignore him and say: "Take a nice long, long walk around town."  
When I open the door to get them to leave, Kwest is standing there.  
"Hi Kwest, bye Kwest." Jamie says, and he and Zeppelin take off.  
"Hi?" Kwest replies.  
"Come on." I say, and I pull him into the house, to the kitchen.  
His eyes pop when he sees how the table is set for two. "I thought Jamie needed me for some kind of music problem."  
"Yeah, well no he didn't. That was just a way to get you here."  
"Sadie, what is all of this? What's going on?" He asks, confused.  
I swallow. "I just thought… that maybe we should do something. Together, I mean." He still looks confused, so I continue. "Okay, so maybe I thought I should do something for you. You know. A Big Romantic Gesture. To show you that… I'm all in. This is what I want. And I want it forever. And I'm sorry about all that happened and I know it's my fault and I regret every single thing but I can't take it back and it kills me and- "  
Kwest takes my hand and I realize I'm rambling. I sigh and close my eyes. Although it feels good that I'm saying this and it feels good that I'm doing this, I'm still very nervous. As I'm sure he can tell.  
I know Kwest likes me. And I know that he needs like an extra push from me or something, to show him that I mean it. I just hope this is enough. 'Cause right now, it doesn't seem like it. How did I think a stupid dinner was going to fix everything?  
But Kwest is still holding my hands and when I open my eyes, he looks very worried.  
"Sadie, calm down. It's okay." He looks around. The nicely decorated table, the candles, the dimmed lights,… and then his eyes go to my dress and I can't help but smile.  
"So you wanted us to have a nice dinner together?" He smiles, too.  
"Yeah. I just thought that it was a good way to show you how much I care." I shrug.  
"It is." He says, and he squeezes my hand. "Come on." He leads me to one of the chairs and pulls it back for me. Even on my surprise, he still treats me like a princess.  
After he sits down he asks me: "So, what's for dinner?"  
"It's not that special, I know, but we both like it, so I figured it was okay. Plus, it's about the only thing that I know how to cook decently."  
"Mac and cheese." He guesses.  
I nod and we're both smiling.  
When we're almost done eating, I call for them. "Spiederman and Karma, you can come out now."  
Kwest raises an eyebrow in surprise, but when Spiederman rolls a piano in, his mouth drops.  
"A piano?"  
"Yeah. I asked Karma and Spied to do this for me, and they we so nice they agreed."  
Spiederman looks at Kwest and says: "You know she forced us, dude. You know. But anything for love." He grins and Karma rolls her eyes at him.  
"Come on." I say, and I pull him off his chair.  
"Thank you, guys. It's really sweet of you to do all this. Especially you Sadie. Thank you. I-"  
"Shtt, no more talking." Karma interrupts. "When I sing, you two shut up." She smiles. "Please."  
We smile at each other and smile. "Okay, okay." I hush.  
And then Karma starts singing, Spied starts playing and singing, and it's perfect.

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air_

_If I should die before I wake_  
_It's 'cause you took my breath away_  
_Losing you is like living in a world with no air_

_I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave_  
_My heart won't move, it's incomplete_  
_Wish there was a way that I can make you understand_

_But how do you expect me_  
_to live alone with just me_  
_'Cause my world revolves around you_  
_It's so hard for me to breathe_

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air_  
_Can't live, can't breathe with no air_  
_It's how I feel whenever you ain't there_  
_It's no air, no air_  
_Got me out here in the water so deep_  
_Tell me how you gonna be without me_  
_If you ain't here, I just can't breathe_  
_It's no air, no air_

_No air, air_  
_No air, air_  
_No air, air_  
_No air, air_

_I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew_  
_Right off the ground to float to you_  
_There's no gravity to hold me down for real_

_But somehow I'm still alive inside_  
_You took my breath, but I survived_  
_I don't know how, but I don't even care_

_So how do you expect me_  
_to live alone with just me_  
_'Cause my world revolves around you_  
_It's so hard for me to breathe_

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air_  
_Can't live, can't breathe with no air_  
_It's how I feel whenever you ain't there_  
_It's no air, no air_  
_Got me out here in the water so deep_  
_Tell me how you gonna be without me_  
_If you ain't here, I just can't breathe_  
_It's no air, no air_

_No air, air_  
_No air, air_  
_No air, air_  
_No air_

Jude (London)  
"Okay, I don't mean to ruin the mood, but I really, really want to call Sadie and Jamie and Spied right now."  
Tommy rolls his eyes. "You are aware of the fact that we're both not wearing any clothes, are you?"  
"Yeah, I know." I punch him, half-heartedly. "We should put clothes on first, of course. But can I? Can I call her?"  
"Sure. I suppose Kwest's with her, so then they both know."  
"Okay!" I say, and I get out of bed. On my way to the bathroom I throw his shirt over at him. 'Come on, Quincy. Get up!"

After putting on out clothes and fixing our hair (I swear Tommy's took longer than mine), I start up the computer and log onto Skype.  
After a few tries, I realize she's not going to answer. "God Sadie, this is not the time to ignore me."  
I grab my cell and text her: "Skype. Now. SOS."  
"SOS? Isn't that a bit drastic?" Tommy laughs.  
"It's just to get her attention. If she really is with Kwest, she's trying to ignore me, but I'm not letting her." I grin.  
PING.  
"And see? It worked!" I say, as I put on the webcam in my Skype conversation with Sadie.  
"Jude? What's going on? What's the emergency?"  
"Calm down, calm down, that was just to get your attention."  
"You send me an SOS, just to get my attention? Jude, do you know how wrong that is, I was so worried, something could've happened-"  
"But something did happen." I interrupt her.  
Before I can say anything, Kwest, Karma and Spiederman shove their face in front of the webcam.  
"JUUUDE!" Spiederman says. "How's it going? Excited for our tour?"  
"Yeah, I am." I smile. "But I've got even bigger news, actually."  
"Even bigger?" Karma raises her eyebrow.  
Tommy and I look at each other and then say in unison: "We're engaged."  
It remains silent for a while.  
"That's the news?" Karma says, and rolls her eyes.  
"Yeah, seriously, that was so bound to happen, I'm surprised it took you this long." Spiederman says.  
And then they all start talking and I can't understand a word, until Jamie walks into view and asks what's going on.  
"I'm engaged!" I shout.  
"Jude, that's awesome!"  
Finally an appropriate reaction! "Thank you, Jamie. And thank you for your good advice."  
"You're welcome Jude. Always."  
"Andrew's advice?" Tommy asks.  
"Yeah. Jamie's kind of the reason we're engaged actually. He gave me the idea."  
"So it's all thanks to me that you're so happy. Think about that." Jamie says and he erupts in laughter when he sees Tommy's face.  
"So everyone's happy now?" Zeppelin asks and we all stare at her. "Yeah, I mean Karma and Spied are always happy. Sort of. And Sadie and Kwest just had their moment. And you two are engaged, she points at the webcam."  
"And we're together." Jamie chimes in, putting his arms around her.  
"Yeah, I guess it all turned out okay, in the end." Sadie says.  
"Thank god." Tommy says, and he starts kissing me, right there where they can all see us.  
"Ugh, gross!"  
"Disgusting!"  
"Ewwww!"  
They're all laughing and shouting, but the sounds fade as Tommy closes the laptop.  
"Let's make these last few hours together count." He says, as he pulls me to the bedroom.


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm so so sorry that this took so long but... I acutually forgot I hadn't uploaded this :/ I know, how could I forget? But I did, and I'm sorry :) Enjoy this last one!**

Finale

Tommy (Canada)

"What the hell is going on here?"

I just walked into G Major. Everything is different: the colours of the walls changed, the furniture is replaced and I don't recognize anyone walking around here. I'm about to grab my cell and call Darius, when I hear a voice behind me. "Tom? Out here."

I turn around and Darius is standing in the doorway. He gestures for me to follow him outside. "Darius, what's happening here? I don't –"

"I'm leaving G Major."

I'm dumbstruck. "What?"

"You heard me. I decided it's not working for me anymore here."

"But what about the artists? What about Instant Star World?"

Darius laughs. "I thought you were going to ask: what about me?"

I shrug. I don't want to tell him that I want to leave G Major and work somewhere else, like maybe somewhere in London, but now it seems like I won't have to.

"I'm taking some of the artists with me. Only the R&B and hiphop artists. I want to focus on those. I got out of the contract of Instant Star World with a special… let's call it "condition" that allowed me to step out whenever I wanted to. And as for you… You can do what you whatever you want. If you still want to work for me, I can give you a job. You're an amazing artist and an amazing producer and I could use you. But I have a feeling you're not going to follow me on this one."

"You always had a good gut-feeling D." I smile. I don't need to tell him, because he knows. The man may be cruel and sneaky, but he knows people.

"So I guess this is goodbye then, Tom." He offers his hand and I shake it.

"For now." I reply. "I'm pretty sure this isn't the last time we'll see each other."

"I don't think so either." He smiles and walks to his car. When he's about to get in, I run after him and ask: "Any idea what they're doing with this place?" and I gesture to what used to be G Major.

"Yeah, I know what they're doing. Go inside and see for yourself, you'll be surprised." He smiles and disappears.

"Let's go inside then." I mumble to myself.

I don't know if I'm jetlagged or if I'm seeing ghosts.

"Hi there, Tom. Did you miss me?" Georgia asks.

Jude (London)

It's in the middle of the night and I'm still wide awake. Somehow being here feels wrong. I feel so alone.

I know I'll see Tommy again soon. We can't seem to stay away from each other, so we'll find a way. I know I'll see Spied and Jamie and Sadie in just a few weeks time, but still… something's off.

It's like everyone is there and I'm here all by myself. And it always was like that, it just never felt so wrong.

I decide to call Tommy, but he doesn't pick up. Maybe he's still on the plane? I look at the clock. Nope, he should be home right now.

I feel restless and I get out of bed.

It feels like something big is happening. Something huge. But I don't know what…

Tommy (Canada)

Turns out, Georgia is running the joint again. She still has to come up with a name, but she's got everything sorted out. The only thing she really needs right now are producers and artists.

"So, are you in?" she asks.

"You want me to come work for you again and be your producer?"

"Well, actually… you can be whatever you want. You can be a producer, you can be an artist, you can even be both!"

"That desperate for people that you want _me_ as an artist." I grin.

"Don't mock yourself Quincy, you know you're good. I never thought a solo-album of you would see the light of day, but you did great, Tom. It's a work of art."

"Flattery will get you everywhere." I smile.

"So you're in?"

I sigh. "I'm not 100% sure yet. I need to… discuss this with some people."

"You can just say her name, you know. The whole world knows that you two are engaged."

"Wait, what?"

She holds out a newspaper with a paparazzi shot of Jude with a nice red circle around her hand where you can see the engagement ring. I smile when I think about our last hours together in London, where we went on a crazy engagement ring hunt for her. I guess we could've been more subtle.

"Busted." I laugh. "Yes, I have to discuss this with Jude first. I don't know what she plans on doing but, truth is, where she goes I go. If she decides to stay in London, I'm going too."

"And if she decides she wants to come back…"

"Then I'm all yours." I smile, and we hug. "I missed you, Georgia."

"I missed you too, Tom."

Sadie (Canada)

When I wake up, I expect to see Kwest lying next to me, but he isn't. For a moment I panic, but then I hear noises downstairs.

I grab a sweater and go to the kitchen. "I hope you're hungry." Says Kwest, while he turns around and motions to the huge pile of pancakes he already made.

"I'm starving." I reply.

"Good. I figured we had something to celebrate." He smiles.

"We do." I say and I wrap my arms around him. "But before we eat, I think there's something else we need to do first."

He looks surprised. "What do we need to do?"

"Well, we need to make up for lost time." I raise my eyebrows and take the plate of pancakes out of his hands and put them on the counter. "A lot of making up." I say.

And then he finally gets it and follows me to the bedroom.

"The pancakes are going to get cold, though." He warns me.

"I don't really care about the pancakes right now." I wink, and close the door behind him.

Tommy (Canada)

"Hi babe! Didn't know you'd still be awake at this hour!" I say, when I pick up my phone.

"Yeah, I can't sleep that well. The bed seems so big." I can hear her smiling.

"Well you don't have to sleep in a big bed for that long, remember that. We'll be together soon enough."

"You're right. I shouldn't complain."

"Babe, since you're awake now, there's something I need to ask you."

"Hmmm... Does this have something to do with all the stuff going on there that made you leave so soon?"

"Yes. It's exactly about that. You see, there's no G Major here anymore."

The phone stays silent for a while.

"Jude?"

"Yeah, I'm still here. It's just weird. No G Major. What's Darius going to do right now?"

"He's starting up a music label for R&B and Hiphop artists only. So everyone's been set free except maybe ShayShay."

"And what about you?"

"Well, I'm free too. I can do whatever I want. I can come work in London..."

"Come work here? That would be amazing!"

"Yeah, I know. And normally there wouldn't be a doubt in my mind about coming to live with you. But here's the thing: G Major is gone, but the music label here isn't. Someone else took over. Someone we both know."

"Who?"

"Georgia."

"Georgia? Wow! I didn't even know she was still in this business."

"Well she wasn't for a long time, but now she's back and she wants me. And she wants you too, Jude. So you can choose: London or Canada. But you have to know: it doesn't matter for me, I go where you go."

"London or Canada."

"Yep.

Jude (London)

And just when I thought I figured it all out, my world is turned upside down again. How the hell am I going to choose?


End file.
